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I'd have preferred you didn't answer it all. What does a baby cry for - to get mummy. When she doesn't come it will eventually stop. Maybe the 15th was the last one?

I think you handled it okay though.

You've scared her now.

Oh crap, this may be hard on her!

Burt

VERY good answer. I like the "I don't trust you" truth dart. Also good: "I find the need to protect myself right now; I've never been thru this before."

Puppy

I got cornered again as soon as I walked in. The kids were up and she said I need to talk to you.

I said "later" she raised her voice and said "now."

I said "later" She said "no now - did you meet someone this weekend? " ( she had looked in my e-mails, and the school coordinator had sent me a thank you and invite to come back to umpire in her district. She also said some nice things about talking to me and she'd like to talk more. The irony is the coordinator told me Sat. Nite @ an informal group "outing" that I was the only guy she had talked to that nite that hadn't mentioned a hotel room!)

So I replied " Yes, I met lots of people"

She than admitted to seeing the message and said it didn't matter. And began the D talk.

I said " later" She got hot, I told her "to calm down" she said " don't walk away from me"

I said ' What in specific do you want to know"

She said " We can't get past this"

I said " What have you done to allow your marriage to get past this?"

She said "I can't get past it"

I said " It's on you than."

I took a sleeping pill and went to bed.

Keep the info about the coordinator very vague.

Burt

Now my plan is to not allow any communication today.

Meeting w Atty is @ 4pm. I plan on attending. I told her i retained an atty and will have him review papers again for safety sake. This will add a couple of weeks to process. This really hacks her off because I've told her repeatedly the reason I'm doing that is because I do not trust her.

Than I'll DB my a$$ off.

I Just got a text from her- "This will take 60-90 days maybe you'll change your mind"

WTF?

She hasn't heard i word I've said -obviously.

Yeah, she's heard it -- it's "in there" -- she just hasn't processed it clearly yet, and probably won't for quite awhile.

Next time she corners you, don't let her badger you into a conversation. A calm "I'm not prepared to talk about this now" is better than telling her to "calm down" -- that only escalates things. When she gets specific (like "obviously we can't get past this,") either do the vague validation thing ("I'm really sorry you feel that way") or do the Gucci/Robx jui jitsu thing ("You're right, we can't.") But don't bait her with statements like "What have YOU done . . . ") etc.

Good decision on going with her today. So long as you make no concessions, it can only benefit you to see what her gameplan is; I'm shocked she's letting you come, now that you've said you'll be retaining your own attorney.

Puppy

Yeah, but she's got 60-90 days to change HER mind, as well.

Get to DB'ing!

Now she is saying she won't go if i have another atty - via texts.

I can just use the one and she will stay out and wait for papers. She even said you can F me on the D if you want to, take the kids, I know your being sh*tty.

Is this fog or denial or I guess it's all fog? I mean how sh*tty is it to cheat on your S?

So plan B - If she doesn't show? What do I do?

I kinda think I need to hit her with a 2x4 - right now anyway.