I need to ask a question. When does some-one know when they should give up?
When you feel ready to go.
Originally Posted By: stu321
W has packed all my stuff and nothing has changed. I think I'm at that stage of giving up.
There's nothing wrong with that. Some people struggle with doing what needs to be done to save the relationship, and some relationships can't be save no matter how hard anyone tries.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I don't mind doing what I have to, but I think that no matter what I do, it won't change anything.
So what have you tried?
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
detaching, looking after myself, doing things I've wanted to do, stopped pursuing, been standing up to her (which has lead to some arguments), have been spending more quality time with my son, being more organised.
I've hardly spoken to her unless it is about our son or the house.
been standing up to her (which has lead to some arguments)
Can you elaborate? Give us some examples?
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
She complained about the colour of the grout I had picked for the floors and said anyone could see that it should of been a different colour. I told her I made the decision at the time cause I thought it was the right one, and I didn't choose that colour to upset her.
She got upset with me cause some of the people working on the house had been smoking inside and that I hadn't told them not to smoke inside. I told her I did tell them, but I havn't been there 100% of the time as I have my job to do as well. She hasn't spent much time at the house lately.
She wanted to take our son to a show on a day that I had him. I had already made plans, and said no. This didn't start an argument, but she was waiting for me to cave in which I didn't.
Probably not big issues, but none the less, they were issues.
You can buy grout paint and paint it any color you want. But, in my experience, no matter what color you start with, grout turns grey/brown. Not worth the effort of trying to change it, unless you are going to seal it.
Standing up to her, if she is a bully, is essential. However, in a happy marriage, the partners are not confrontational, they negotiate. They ask each others' opinion and try to come to consensus on things. So standing up may be a 180, and it will change the routine, but it doesn't get you all the way to happy.
I agree it does't get you to happiness, but some-one also said that if u can't stand up to them, they feel that you can't stand up FOR them. She can be a bully. I know she is at her work, and alot of people don't like it. I think she brought that attitude home.
