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It seems that is how some women fight men......in humiliating them. Things like being served with restraining orders hurts a man's pride and embarrasses him when done at his job....and that may just be the reason she did it. It's dirty.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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It's also pretty standard now in D proceedings (at least where I live). When I was thinking of filing on my WAH, the L I talked to would have filed one as a "just in case he's pissed measure" so I'd be safe. You never really know how someone will take getting served D papers. The papers don't necessarliy get served at once.


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its been a dirty trick for years! its often suggested by there family and friends as a way to "control you" and it put the kids in there corner right from the start when they have young kids.

I would watch all contact now! the next stunt is she will call the cops and claim you hit her if you ever meet alone..

these are desperate moves and based on my W and my friends ex Ws they find pure hate for you out of no where... Its some sort of justifying there actions


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Really, thought Christmas would be tuff, first Christmas without W in 32 years, but both sons being present with their families turned out to be a great day. W and MIL really screwed up, W decided that she wouldnt get grandkids(4) anything for Christmas. Didn't give explanation as to why, money is not the issue, as makes good money. Told my oldest son this two weeks ago. MIL decides she would put together package for them and send UPS. MIL and W don't confer on sons address, so package goes to wrong address and is lost. Package included cash, so my sons are furious that W and MIL could screw this up. Oldest son is in school, so this package was a big part of toy count. I had assumed something would go wrong, so I increased the amount of toys I purchased for grandkids. Sons were pleasantly suprised that my additional purchases saved the day for the gkids. I came out looking like a hero.

Have not being able to figure out why W wouldnt purchase gifts for them. My only thought is things are not going well, as she is always angry and temporary R.O. has forced us into darkness for the last couple of weeks. Interesting to see what she will do when we stand before judge in january to decided whether R.O. needs to continue.

In the interim, I have been GALing, working out daily, been to a couple of parties, purchased new clothes, reconnecting with my sons, my brother and old friends that I had pushed to the side for the W. Have not been this happy in years, still miss the wife, but have been able to detach.I am excited about the new year and I feel I am ready for whatever happens.

Thanks for all the encouragement.


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Results of the court hearing has us in protective order for the next 12 months. Disappointing, but it is what it is.Since her PA is continuing, going dark was my only choice since she is out of the house.I am continuing to GALing and noticed that at the hearing W still acts angry. Tried to engage her in conversation, but she stated she didn't want to talk. SHe didn't convince the judge that a P.O. was needed, the judge simply asked me if I could stay away for the next 12 months and I said I could. This was a 180 for me as I am sure W expected me to fight the P.O.

I also showed up without my wedding band on which I have never done before that I think she wasn't happy to see. This morning she contacted a divorce lawyer for the first time, so something that happened yesterday she didn't like. My question for the board is, considering my situation, how can I effectively let her know that the window is still open for her to return without pursing? She also still has not communicated with adult sons. Keeps trying to talk with the S(23) but he will not take her call.


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You don't let her know. If she wants to find out she will.


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Thanks Cutter, simple and to the point.


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