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I hate it when we turn out to be right about this stuff.

None of us want to be the one to tell someone that their spouse is having an affair...

Sorry to hear that my dear.

His loss!

(((HUGS)))

It's just all so fresh and I don't know what to think. To hear another woman's voice saying I love you to my husband broke what little bit of a heart I had left. As all you guys said I did know all along. It true I never trusted him in our marriage because I always felt that he was cheating or would cheat. But he always told me I was wrong and that maybe when we'd been married 50 years then I would trust him. I guess it's just such a shock to actually have it confirmed. Even though part of me always knew the side blinded by love never thought he would hurt me like this.

At this point I don't know if our M is worth saving. He barely communicated with me before and now that he has been caught I can't see him talking to me. He has always refused to deal with anything so I don't see him owning up to anything. Is there any point in me trying? Should I try to contact him to talk about this new info or should I just continue my initial plan to GD until after the holidays and see what happens from there ?

Did he give you any reason to believe this was likely (before now, of course) or was it a case of insecurity on your part?

You have control over one of those possibilities...



It sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy; you believed he would cheat, so you treated him as if he would cheat, and so ultimately he did cheat. Sounds like a lesson hard-learned.

Well, given what you said about suspicions of infidelity throughout your marriage, I can see why he'd have a hard time dealing with this. (Not that it excuses his conduct; I just see bringing this up now as continuing a trend in your relationship of accusation and denial...)



If his affair is truly a dealbreaker, then I would say "no, it's not worth it." Only you know where your limits are.



You mean accuse him of having an affair yet again? (And yes, I understand that he actually is, or was, having an affair, but hopefully you see my point...)

No, there is no point in contacting him about this info. Your best bet is to stay dark. Collect whatever evidence you have for the time when it will be necessary to bring it up.

Stay dark.

It'll just be the same old same old if you call him about it.

Well as you guys can tell things in my world move fast. Today I had to have a handyman come in to do some work. He saw that I was upset and asked me about my sitch and I broke down and told him everything. He was really nice and told me to keep my chin up. Well before he left for the day he said he had a single friend about my age and wanted to know if I would like it if this guy called me. I said sure why not it might be good to talk to someone new. Well a half an hour later he called and we laughed for 30 minutes and he asked me to dinner.

That is awesome for the PMA my dear!

Well that did not go well. He was an hour late to the date and showed up drunk and high. I left early. I guess I'm just not ready to venture back out into the sea quite yet.