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It seems like I do fine on the weekends when I have stuff to keep me occupied but at work and at night by myself I miss him so much. I just don't understand how he could completely blindside me with this and then have no contact with me what so ever. I went from being happily married I thought to being basically single. I have not spoken to him in 6 days and eb=ven before that he would only talk to me if I contacted him. It's like one day he gave me the speech and the next day he was completely over me. I am just so afaid that this is it. I have tried to GAL but everything reminds me of him. We have only been seperated 25 days. I can't see how some of you have been seperated for months and years. This is killing me. He has been my best friend for ten years. Ten years of talking every single day and now nothing.

I know how you feel twist, but trust me, it gets easier.
I was in your position and I'm still in your position but it does get easier.

Time is your best friend right now.. take this time to do what you loved doing but ignored or neglected. I know its so hard and paiful but once you start doing stuff and keeping yourself very, very busy, you will find yourself feeling a little better in time.

Keep coming back here and venting when you need to. everyone here will support you!

HUGS

It has officially been one week of no contact at all. I decided to send him and IM today thru our work system just said "How are you?" and he never responded. I just don't see how he can be so detached already. In some ways I feel I should just give up totally and move on. It just seems like it took 1 day to achieve what most couples do in months. We are completely seperate and he has already moved on. I can GAL and work on me all I want but he isn't available at all to notice so what now??????

Sounds like your H has a OW. You need to decide if this is a deal-breaker for you. You need a way to verify if he is having a affair.

DB will still help you with whatever path you choose. But busting up a affair comes first before you can start a new marriage.

You can handle it.

Coach

Work on making yourself happy Twist. Do not contact him at all. You can't make him love you by calling him or IMing him. I am currently in the same boat as you are. I have not talked to my W for nearly 3 weeks at which time she told me that she planned to file this week or next. It sucks but it is what you have to do. He has to be curious about you and want to work on things. Going after him will just push him away right now. Give him time to think about what he is doing and you take care of yourself.

He finally responded but all he wanted to know was when I was going to give back his keys and why I took a trunk he purchased. I guess I will just have to be strong and not contact him again. His business only converstaions hurt me more than no contact at all.

When you are tempted to contact him, get on here, or go for a walk, anything but give in.

When you need to contact him because of financial things or splitting up bills or whatever, take time to decide what you're going to say.

When I first got on here I was told over and over and over to not react to things emotionally, to think things over for 48 hrs before acting. It was some of the best advice I've ever gotten.

On the MLC forum, the chapter from Michele's book is posted. It's a very insightful read if you haven't perused it already.

Don't reply. He obliviously doesn't need that stuff right now or he would have contacted you earlier. If you do respond which you shouldn't only tell him when he can get his keys. Don't respond on taking the pickup only wants to start a fight.

Thank you all so much ! You are absolutely right. Mayeb I should just start acting "as if" I don't care. If he doesn't care why should I right. And if he never comes around well atleast I will haev a life of my own and will have moved on.

If you are responding right away, contacting him to ask how he is, it comes off as needy/clingy.

If you find a hobby, pick up a book to read, start working out more, something to keep you busy so you aren't around to respond to his contact so quickly you will be mysterious.

Which is more interesting?