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Too much TELLING her what you're doing, and not enough just DOING it.

Dude, where's the MYSTERY in THAT???

Better: "I have plans. I won't be late. Look, I hate to cut you off, but I gotta go. See you tonite at the house!"

Puppy

PUP,

Your right but I was making up a GAL and blew it. I didn't have plans when I said that but I guess I do now!

FULL of contradictions. You WILL answer if you see it's her, or you WON'T??

Better: "I don't intentionally ignore people. I'm very busy, and obviously my plate's now been added to. I will always get back to you if it's important, and quickly if it concerns the kids."

You need to convey more "I've moved on; I'm no longer waiting for you" and less "I won't tolerate your affair, but I'm still here at your beck and call."

Puppy

Wear something new, and smell different. A new short -- of a different style than you would normally wear -- and a new cologne will do the trick. Tell her you won't be late, and then DON'T be. But not too early, either. Will she be there with the kids? Can you come home 11-11:30ish?

Puppy

Yes,I see what you mean PUP, I need to take a breath think about that very train of thought and taylor the responses accordingly.

That maybe a little harder than it sounds but I need to remind myself of that everytime.

She has been leaving shortly after putting kids to bed @ 9p, so I guess I could. My fear is I'll find her in our bed. She does rise fairly early in the morning.

Which is an interesting side note, since I have not been either here to wake her, or calling her to wake her she says she's been late everyday this week!

Sounds like it's time for someone to put on her Big-Girl panties.

Puppy

Once again she called me during my work out, multiple times, I called her back - she said, She really wanted me to tell her what to do about the rent house, atty, etc. I stuck to it and said " You know where I stand.This is on you. I will not tell you what to do. That clearly has been a mistake for 6 mos."

She said " will I see you before you leave?"
Me " If you get there before I leave yes but I got to get going to make it on time"

She did see me walk out.

So I did my thing, @ 8:30 she starts calling, instead of answering " I just sent her a text - "What is it?"

Her - " where are you?"
Her 5mins later " hello?"
Starts calling me again, and again- Texts me "PLZ answr - I need to talk to you"

Next call I step outside and answer - " Where are you"

Me - " next question"
W " why can't you answer my question"
M - " For 6 mos. U didn't answer that very same question when i asked it."
W " I didn't bring any of my stuff home tonight, so I cannot stay late and I feel pretty sick & aunt mary just arrived and I need some help with it"
M- " I'll be home in an Hour"

She had cleaned, and made our bed, done some laundry -first time for that in a long time.

She started calling me almost immediatelly this morning.

W- " why do you seem so mad everytime we talk? It sounds like you are having second thoughts"
M- " I guess it's the lack of trust - i don't know that I am mad just frustrated and feeling things like insecurity for the first time in my life"
W- " Don't, there is nothing going on."
M- " You have not reassured me of anything except you have an attorney, you have looked at a house and you leave every night"
W - "there is no affair I mean"
M- "W if you are still talking to him there is still an affair, stop be littling me with your denial."
W " See your getting mad."
M- "Maybe I am, maybe I am tired of repeating myself. This is not eighth grade, this is life changing sh*t. The marriage is ruined, on the rocks and being beat up by every incoming wave, I stood by you for monthes while everyone was in my ear about it. You said NO I told them NO. I stood on the football field with that liar (OM), in front of this town, and they knew - I wouldn't listen to them. I confronted him - he denied. So you have admitted it, true, and that was a month ago, what have you done since then, met him at the mall, texted him goodnite, turned away from me, ILY's, No sex - it's been a lifetime since there has been any affection. Please W if you think you can find a more dedicated, loving husband and father out there than go for it."
W- " I know I can't, I haven't hired the atty, I haven't signed a lease and I can't fix anything if I am not there" She started crying and had to go.

I am not sure what to do now- I melted down there a bit, let to much slip, brought up A again. Sorry Pup but what do I need to do now?

I didn't mean to just address PUP if anyone has advice please give it. I feel like i am approaching another crossroads here very quickly.