Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Need Some Qwik Advice

SD-
Brother my heart goes out to you also. Maybe we need to jump on our Harley's and Ride to the KISS concert in Big D. I got tix. Stay Strong and "Don't take Sh*t from anyone, EVER"- I'm quite certain you have earned that from life.

Advice taken and appreciated -

I replied " If affair is still going on there is no point in you coming home"

That was sent 2 hours ago, no reply & I don't expect one either.

Good response, Over.

If she doesn't bite, too bad. You made yourself very clear.

I wouldn't make that bet. I think she WILL call. You are doing all the right things, OB. She has been responding to your strength and intolerance of her A. Don't change a thing.
Greek

over, have a great time at the concert. A KISS concert will really take your pains and worries away for over 2 hours! I am really missing the Harley. Have many parts to install. Will work on all that when I get back in March. Thanks for the advice, I just gotta follow it!!! Take care brother.

This is TEXAS and she is allowed to be here until D is filed, but I know if it goes like it has in the past, I will talk to the floorlamp more than her and she will leave again.

The kids also told me this morning that they did not want me to move. D even said " Daddy you built this by yourself for us, we don't wanna live anywhere else." It was awfully hard to keep the tears back.

She can't force me to sell the house right now, the only thing is she'd benefit even futher down the road. There is ALOT of equity even in this downturn. Is there a way I can limit that if there is a divorce? Can it be stated that the equity level is x now and that is all she will get at the sale whenever?

She replied after she got off work - again i was working out and did not get it immediatelly.

Her text "Ok ----, I've had it with us, OM and OMW, I'm moving out. If you think that requires an immediate divorce than I'll call Atty. I don't want this to be bad - I don't, I'll get the kids and come home"

So i called her- I Said " I didn't need the 3 messages telling me I was rude for not responding to you. You know I turn off phone when I am working out. You took all day to reply that you were moving out. That tells me the affair- which was the subject of my text is still going on. That's fine if you want to finish off a marriage and hurt the one's that love you most than it is on you"

She said "I'm talking to him only, no affair. And you don't have to be sh*ty"

I said " Okay, your right if you can tell me what i said that was not the truth and was pure sh*ty than I'll take it back"

She said " No your right, your right " and started crying.

I told her to call me back or i'd see her at home.Not much better there. She asked and i repeated everything again. My boundaries and expectations, she said at that point I was not being supportive.I said I was not being compliant, I was taking my balls back and keeping them.

She said she could set up the atty appointment for Thursday PM. I said I'd be there just let me know.

As i read it now it seems alittle to hard line, but i have to remember from where I have come also. Still maybe to much?

I think you're on the right track. Put her in the position of having to make a real choice that has undeniable consequences.

I would ignore the multiple texts. I wouldn't be too put out by details (though I have been). At least don't let it seem that you are. Calm, cool, collected.

She seems like she might cave. That's not a promise, just her attitude seems to be that of a kid whose parents just called his/her bluff.

Well she called me this morning, again I did not answer immediately, it was unintentional as my D & S like to listen to Daddy's ipod kinda loud on the ride to school. But she of course wanted to know why i didn't answer on the first ring.

I answered calmly and she started asking me about S's practice and game schedule while I'll be out of town. I'll be gone 3 days for a school to get National Cerification it's intense, she knows that there will be very little time for any communication.

Anyway, after I ran down the schedule I asked her if there was anything else? She said she had not talked to S this a.m.. So I handed him the phone. After the discussion he said "Dad, Mom wants to talk to you."

She said "-----, I uh " and started choking up.

I said " I can't do this with you right now."

She said " Why can't you talk to me?"

I said " I have been trying to talk to you for monthes, and it has been discounted and ignored, now please we are done doing this"

She said "I am going to pick up kids, and we'll be home early -No one has any practices tonight."

I said " I will have dinner made, ( Kids really enjoy that with their schedules they don't get to eat at home much) and I will see you when I get home"

She said " What are you doing?"

I said " Attending a support group meeting for Divorced Parents"

She said " Why didn't you talk to me about that?"

I said " I didn't know I needed to"

She said " My patient is here, If i call you today will you answer?"

I said " w, yes i will if I see you are calling, but understand, I am no longer holding my phone waiting for you to call, that is over, I won't ignore you, but I don't want you blowing me up because I didn't answer."

Pup, Greek - Am I playing too hard now?

M E -

Appreciate the reply. I agree that she is about to cave but my fear now is that she may cave towards the path of least resistance. By what her text said " I have had it with us, OM & OMW I'm leaving" that's got WAW written all over it.