Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Need Some Qwik Advice

Too much contact. I would have gone with:

Her- "Do you want me to set the appointment with atty"
Me- " Yes if affair is still going on, no If you want to commit to working on your marriage"

I allow her to come home everynight and spend time with children before putting them to bed. She than leaves and stays at SIL's apartment.I feel the kids should be protected at all costs but do i need to limit her visits.

I also found out today that she showed them a potential house for her to stay in on Sunday. She also asked kids where they would like to stay, S said with Dad, D said with her.She won't sperate them but I know that hurt her a little bit.

This mornings Text from her -" I'm coming home tonight"

I waited to respond and in 5 minutes there was another
" U OK with that"

I Responded - " Please let me think about it"

Am I playing with fire now?

You've got to make it clear to her that if the A is still going on, there is no point in her coming home.

OB,

You're trying to let her "normalize" things too much. Tell her she has the two options (which are outlined above), but if she chooses "no if affair is still going on," that you will suggest a SCHEDULED visitation arrangement regarding the kids. And under NO circumstances will you allow her to put them in the middle of her own mess by doing things like ASKING THEM WHICH PARENT THEY WOULD LIKE TO LIVE WITH! That was just unconscionable.

Puppy

If you are following this string I would like to tell you
being,overburdened, was and is more than a screen name.My current sitch is just another challenge in what has been a very trying year.
I am talking jumping off bridge stuff here. Testifying in a grand jury trial that resulted in 99 yrs for a family member, than being told your testimony was the most damaging, owning a business in this economy, IRS audits, Deaths of 2 family members, seperation, realization W is in affair with one of your friends, disabilitating theft of equipment, kicking alcoholic father out of your home for verbally abusing wife & self, son in 4 wheeler accident requiring emergency surgery, I was hit while walking thru a parking lot and run over breaking some bones, crew truck hit by drunk driver totalling equipment and injuring employees, younger sister diagnosed with breast cancer - do you get the picture?
I can tell you this I kept my faith, I fostered my children and I looked for help. I only started DB'ing Thursday- I wish I'd found it sooner. Not only has there been some improvement in the outlook on the marriage, there is some powerful messages in these books and posts.
I know that even if this doesn't work out the steps taken in DBing give me the assurance that if I follow them I did everything I could to save my marriage. That by it's very nature will let the healing start. And I can tell you if you will finally GAL and apply the techniques to other relationships it will change those also. I am seeing some different behavior all around me. I know it's me applying this stuff and I'm a rookie.

OBW - I never considered " Jumping Off A Bridge". That Was an observation by one of my friends father- he said if he'd had a year like I was having he'd do it.

I'm a victim of 2 suicides in immediate family. I know better.

(((OB))) Sounds like you're going through a lot. I hope things get better soon.

Thanks for the HUG.

Somebody somewhere would say this is a cake walk compared to what thier going thru.

I can handle it.

Overburdened,
my heart goes out to you. I thought my sitch was bad, but after reading your last post, I feel blessed with the little that I have to deal with. You are in my thoughts and prayers.