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Praying for you Karen.

Definitely get those statements. If you don't have them anymore, call the credit card company and get them to email or fax them to you. If your name is still on the account then you can legally do that.

I think hard to prove though. What he did, starting in Dec. 07 was start charging all our bills, like property taxes, and his legal bills on the cards. I still think he was using the cash from his salary for something (bailout or OW or whatever) b/c we were living together until mid-March. Then we've had double the expenses, and I think he just puts stuff on the credit card and avoids cutting expenses. The kids tell me he gives them filet mignon for dinner, S16 got a new Xbox for his birthday last month; he just doesn't get the budget thing. Some of my friends think he is doing this as a plan, run up the credit cards, and his defense against alimony is he is too poor, b/c legally he has every reason to pay it (long-term marriage, stay -at home wife with special needs kids, etc.)

I realized this am when I checked the mail, X still hasn't mailed or given me the child support/alimony check, and my rent was due yesterday. I've told him my landlord has threatened eviction if I don't pay on time. He also didn't give me S10's schoolwork/school info/newsletter again this week. I requested the check and the school info in an email just now and forwarded it to my L as well.

Still working on the divorce stuff, and now have today's stuff to add....

Reading all this, all I can say is: man, am I so glad I didn't have any of these problems to deal with in my D. Money is truly the root of all evils.

I really do believe his plan is going to blow up in his face. He has been trying to hide his money and he is going to have to explain where it all is or what he did with it. The deal with knowing you are going to file and still use those credit cards...my understanding is that is a HUGE deal. I really believe it is considered fraud.(Remember he has been discussing this with L's for at least a year but has continued to charge).

Like I said with my ex, I told him we couldn't afford the divorce. It was going to make things so much worse financially. I even showed him the math. He didn't believe me. He thought everything would go along as normal, he would give me x amount of money and I would keep paying all of the bills. It doesn't work like that. He had to pay alimony, child support and a huge share of the bills. Remember I am still paying for the house. It is delusional the way they think!

kat

I hope so. I'm going to mention the whole fraud thing to my L. X just emailed me that he mailed the check on Monday he says, so if that's true (he lives half hour away) I should get it today. He said he doesn't have to pay me until the 4th (when he is paid this week). I emailed back he made me have a weeks delay when he switched from the court-ordered biweekly payments a year ago to the 1st and 15th he said he wanted to pay instead, and if he's doing that again it's not fair. He also said he's given me copies of all her schoolwork, which is not true. Only since I requested a month ago, and usually a couple days late so he can make copies.

I finished my divorce stuff for the L. I wrote the truth and it prob. sounds pretty bad. I wrote re: his emotional health which they consider re: his anger issues. They had an other factor at the end where you could list other factors to consider they don't list, and I mentioned his abusive behavior to me as a factor. All the other stuff re: schoolwork and problems with custody. Too harsh? I want to take the high road, am doing this I hope for the best of the kids. I don't want to get ugly, but I'm afraid it already is.

Scared to think I could be homeless next week, depending on the judge's rulings!!!! At least it will be good to have over. I mean do things get easier and less calm. I hope so...

Sorry, don't remember, but you live in the marital home? If so, eh-eh, you win that, nothing to worry about there.

Nope, I'm one of the foreclosure people around here. It's going through foreclosure, and didn't have heat or air so I moved into a nice rental home though on 3 acres in the country. It was way cheaper too....

She rents. Her H being late on his payments makes her late on her rent. She is on a month to month basis so he could kick her out any month he wanted to.

Karen you have to visulize this going your way. Get the positive thoughts going. This is ugly because he has made it this way. You need to be honest and lay it all out. No, you have never wanted the world to see your H's dirt but he has asked for it to be laid out by his treatment of you and the kids. Don't give it another moments thought. You are no longer the woman you were a year ago, you are much stronger and have a ton of support.

Don't let him bully you anymore. I hope Karma makes a visit to the courtroom on Monday.

kat

To emphisize what Kat said, everybody is going to go into the court room barking they want this and they want that, the end result usually comes up somewhere in the middle. It's like a selling a used car, you know it's worth $2000, and someone is going to low ball you, so you ask $2500, they come back with $1800, you go back with $2200, then they say $2000, and everybody is happy.

How are you doing? Tomorrow early evening is really busy for me but if you want to talk later today, we can. Drop me a note.

kat