TrentC I will ask her what she meant by that. Is that R talk? or just clarification.
It's clarification. I read that thing four times before I decided that I had no idea what her point was.
Originally Posted By: gettinsomenads
She says that she won't leave the bedroom because she doesn't want to stress the kids with the move and stuff.
The move to where? The couch? The spare bedroom? If she chooses to stay in the bedroom, she accepts responsiblity for what happens there. (That is not license to push things or to make her uncomfortable.)
Originally Posted By: gettinsomenads
I think it's more of her seeing what she will be losing / destroying and having second thoughts but who knows.
You can't know that for sure.
Originally Posted By: gettinsomenads
I won't leave because I am not making the choice to leave and have expressed that several times.
Good for you.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Maybe to clarify would R talk be more like "can't we work it out" ETC.
Where as this is where are you at?
Let me put it this way. Asking her to clarify the "what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom" comment is not necessarily R talk, but it can easily lead to R talk.
It sounds like she's trying to articulate some kind of boundary, and you will show her (and yourself) respect by clarifying exactly what the boundary is. Once it's clear what she meant by it, end the discussion.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Maybe to clarify would R talk be more like "can't we work it out" ETC.
Where as this is where are you at?
Let me put it this way. Asking her to clarify the "what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom" comment is not necessarily R talk, but it can easily lead to R talk.
It sounds like she's trying to articulate some kind of boundary, and you will show her (and yourself) respect by clarifying exactly what the boundary is. Once it's clear what she meant by it, end the discussion.
She wants to hang out and when we do I reminds her of what she likes about me.
Now she is starting her new job and is going to be working nights for a while then into days and on Saturday.
Anyway there will be very little time together. Being in a new town our family is quite far away and realistically I (we) shouldn't plan "dates" together.
I think this confusion of hers may be in my advantage. Anyone have any suggestions on how to keep it moving forward?
