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Gardener,

Why don't you just say it? She is having an affair. She has been having an affair the whole time.

Lotus, I don't know. Because I have no "proof"?

Because as a child and a young adult I would go absolutely ballistic when accused of something I did not do? And I'm reluctant to (falsely) accuse another? Fortunately, Boundary Work has helped me overcome that.

Because I don't want to make an assumption?
Because I don't want to find out the truth?

I don't know, Lotus.
Maybe I don't want to know.

But I am going to drive by his house late Friday night.

Gno raises his hand and confesses, "I'm a masochist."

Something I heard on an episode of House M.D. popped in my mind... Gardener you are a man of steel and honor and I know you would never say these words to her... Please excuse me if I say them in your stead, "Merry Christmas and a happy go to hell." ... My Mediterranean blood has been boiling the last two days...

Gnosi,Thanks for reading. I'm behind on quite a few sitches. What's got your blood percolating these days?

LOL, Gman... what else gets one's blood boiling on DB?

I've not had time to update my sitch because I'm too busy sticking my nose into others sitch's. My next minddump / rant I am going to title: "Prisoner of WAW" (c) 2009 Gnosis.

You're a funny man. And insightful. I appreciate your being here.

All I can say is un-freaking-believable. If the counselor did that he should have his license yanked. Damn! That is harsh...

Are you really going to go by his house??? I can't judge, had I known where ow lived I may have done the same back in the day. But in the end, just knowing I thought he was with her, told me that he was...

Gardener. I took the time to read it all.

Me too.

(((Gardener)))

Mo3

Hey G'Man...

It's always good to get it out, vent.

Let's look at the facts.

Your wife is gone. She's intent on divorcing you.

You both drive an inconvenient 55 miles for individual counseling.

What she does with her personal time is hers.

You are free to imagine the most tawdry to blandest scenarios. The greater the hurt, the higher the need to make it the worst thought possible.

Instead of stalking where you think she might be, spend that time meditating. Spend it doing what makes you a good person.

Get out of your head. Go to a men's group. Help out your son. Do something for others. Do constructive destruction. Toss crap. Hack down a few bushes. Stop giving her prime real estate in your head.

Take a deep breath and exhale. Keep doing it until you feel your shoulders relax. And continue.

It's your choice if you stay on the edge of the abyss or find a new path.

Do what's right for you.

*hugs*