Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Please Give Me Help

I have not gone on any dates.

My finances are in order. Not much blood in this turnip.

I have exposed the A to my close friends. I have told a few work friends as well. I have exposed the affair to our couple friends since my WAW failed to mention it to them when she told them she was moving out and seeking a divorce.

It is my understanding that the A is now an "open secret", even among the students, at the school where WAW regularly substitute teaches and OM teaches full-time.

I have not gone on any dates and do not expect/plan too until at least this is resolved.

Finances are in check. Not much blood in the turnip.

I agree that as long as the affair is ongoing, our M will not survive. I pray that the wake up for the WAW will happen soon after Christmas week because I will have our boys all week. WAW may see them at Christmas Eve service, but I will try to attend a different one. WAW's family is having their Christmas the week after, and I am not invited.

Thanks for the help.

There are a couple of hard things about my WAW situation for me: (1) Having the patience to "do nothing" for a long time. I am an engineer by trade so I problem solve all day long. This "problem" I cannot solve. (2) I must DB, but the uncertainty of the future is hard to consider each day.

Any help?

They key for us guys (classic Martian "fixers") is to view the patience, the "doing nothing" AS "something." That you are executing a PLAN. That your daily no-contact, or your daily non-pursuit IS "something" -- it is the successful implementation of the strategy and tactics that you decided to pursue: DBing.

I know it's counter-intuitive, but it WORKS. Stick with it.

Puppy

Knowing now that my WAW's A is an "open secret" at the school where she substitutes makes me sick. She has probably sealed her fate against getting a professional teaching position in our city. Mgt must know about the A, so her getting a recommendation for another district or getting hired in that district is now unlikely. What Principal would go out on a limb by giving a great recommendation or hire someone in an A?

Sadly, "perhaps one that had one him/herself?"

Puppy

You have hope in your sitch. A lot like mine. Be prepared to hear the truth and think about how you will react. Like PDT said, always have a plan.

I am ready for truth. There have been so many lies from my WAW.

Executing DB plan A.

I am GALing by running even in the coooold weather of Montana evenings. I was still sweaty from my run when WAW dropped off our boys at home after dinner at her apartment last night.

She would hardly look at my eyes, historically a bad sign. I was very friendly and kind back to her, while dying inside.

She was distant with me then and has been with our daycare provider for the past week or so. She had confided in our daycare provider starting last summer about D. Once our daycare provider let slip her own feelings about the devastation D brings to children, no more talk from WAW about how she must D.

She told me at drop off that our B7 was very tired. Sent her a text after bedtime thanking her for the heads up and actually got a "You are welcome" text response.

Patience during this tornado is very hard...