Thanks. Question. How should I handle this. She will talk to me when she needs something. She can't budge money to save her life and is often short before her next payday. Should I continue to help her when she needs it? Should I demand that she pays her fair share of household expenses? I guess I already know the answer to these but would just like an opinion.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Yep, just wanted to hear it from someone else. It is so hard to make these kind of decisions when you are so close to the situation. It is also a little scary. Part of you feels like if you do this that you push the person further away. But in reality they are aleady far away and this might bring them closer. But I'm gonna try this since I've decided that I'm not getting divorced!
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
With the caveat thatI'm in no position to dispense directions ... dude, detach already!
You've finally decided to GAL for yourself? That's great, since it means all along you were getting sidetracked instead of a life.
"Now all you need to do is MAKE her come to the decision"? And you will not follow your W's plan by now not giving her space? Did I read you correctly?
You can't make her do anything. You can decide to do your best to save the M, that's it. And if you are going to pursue your W after all this time ...
I applaud your enthusiaism and commitment to the M. But I really have no clue what you're trying to do here ...
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
You make absolute sense. We are in the same house but different rooms. She sleeps with the kids. So should I show any consideration? Call if I'm late? Call her if she is late? Get her opinion about household concerns?
umm... NO, and again, WHY?
You keep being told not to contact her and you keep asking us if you should contact her.
Man you're stubborn.
If she wants to talk to you, let her call, otherwise nothing.
You are all correct. So far I have been in a semi-dark state with her which led to various gray areas. I now see that isn't the best way to go.
Not so much stubborn as unsure. Much clearer picture now. Not really trying to make her do anything, just trying to state a new and positive attitude. Last few weeks have been overwhelmingly difficult for me and I am just trying to inject new energy into my situation.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Went totally dark today. Didn't speak to her, look at her or acknowledge her. She was ok with it as I expected. At work now and haven't called home. This is a first because I always call home on midnights.
She was on computer looking at homes and apartments today. I hope that if she does move out it will before she files D papers. This would probably help me in divorce case. Plus she would be broke after paying rent and bills.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
There are a few books, one called No More Mr. Niceguy, and another called Hold Onto Your N.U.T.S -(I think)that you might want to check out, they come pretty highly recommended by men on these boards.
Agreed. I highly recommend them (especially since No More Mr. Nice Guy was written for and about me).
And they're not just good reads: they're work.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I'll look them up at Borders. Did they help you any?
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
