Dan's grandparents are the only ones left on either side of the family. When we were first together, there were 4 others who have passed away over time.
Anyway, his maternal grandparents are still living. And they really like me. Grandpa M actually told my mom once that I was his favorite granddaughter!
Anyway, no one has told them that we are divorcing. We got together last Christmas and Dan and I were "trying" then so I didn't say anything. I saw them around Mother's Day but it was a big family gathering at a restaurant. I went b/c I wanted to see them.
Anyway, they are in their late 80s. And they are hosting the Thanksgiving celebration on Saturday. Dan and the kids are going, I am not. I was going to send them a centerpiece/arrangement (my mom works at a flower shop) since I won't be there. Or send a card wishing them a happy holiday. However, I know they don't know we have split up.
How should I handle this? This is the first gathering for H's extended family that I have NOT gone to. His Uncle and his family will be there too. Uncle Bob loves me to death and has often told me he likes me better than his other nieces, too. We have the same sense of sarcasm! Anyway they would be blown away to know that we are separated/divorcing. I just hate to be the one to tell them, and I don't want Dan to think I am trying to cause trouble. But I love them and I want them to know I am thinking of them.
Suggestions?? I am guessing Dan will just tell them I am spending time with my family...
Send the centerpiece BBJ. It's about time that Dan steps up to the plate and does soem of the dirty work. He will have to explain why you are not there. It is his side and he should announce it...not you.
Have a happy thanksgiving BBJ and stop trying to make things easy on HIM! I have the same tendancies....at the end of the day it was their choice that got us here. It is about time that they start paying for those choices.....
Not so thankful that Nathan is sick, again. 104 fever right now. He is on the couch...my parents took Sydney to the family celebration...I think I got 3 hours of sleep last night...
It is just after midnight here, and when I left my parents' Sydney was still awake... She wanted to come home with me. But I am about to take the blinds off every window in the house (yes, at midnight) because JC Penney comes in the morning with all my new shades! Yay, but lots to do before then...hence leaving the kids with my parents.
Feeling down this evening. Had a ton of anxiety-type dreams last night. I was starting 3 different jobs (all piddly minimum-wage stuff) and didn't know my schedules, couldn't be where I was supposed to be, etc. Then something about my kids but I can't remember exactly...then the topper.
I dreamt that Dan came over and told me that ow was pregnant...
Feeling rejected/dejected tonight. There was something in the "He's Just not That Into" book about reconciling with someone who dumped you.
It said, 'before you take them back you need to remember that not long ago, this person took a good, long look at you and what you had to offer, and said, 'no thanks'', or something to that effect.
And I guess tonight it just stings to think that my H could look at me, knowing that despite my flaws, I loved him and was dedicated to him forever, and he could decide that I just wasn't worth it. Wasn't good enough, whatever...
I know it will get better. I was on a good string of 'up' days before today. Even yesterday being home with a sick kid and missing my family thanksgiving didn't really bother me at all. Not sure why today did...
Oh and John, I did buy a beautiful centerpiece to send to Dan's grandparents tomorrow...
And my college friend who found me on Match texted me a few times today. He was really hoping we could get together and catch up tonight, but I had the family gathering. I got on myspace and listened to some of his stuff (he plays acoustic guitar and sings) and it sounded fantastic. I will definitely be going to one of his shows soon...
Plus I have two of the cutest smartest kids around. So I have a lot to be thankful for...
And my college friend who found me on Match texted me a few times today. He was really hoping we could get together and catch up tonight, but I had the family gathering. I got on myspace and listened to some of his stuff (he plays acoustic guitar and sings) and it sounded fantastic. I will definitely be going to one of his shows soon...
Plus I have two of the cutest smartest kids around. So I have a lot to be thankful for...
...and don't forget you ARE a Superfox!!! Despite all the detaching I've done I still have those down days as well when I ask why I wasn't good enough. Fortunately they are occuring less and less. I'm learning to snap out of it and remind myself that I'm not the one with "issues".
I agree with searching4, there are down days. But it is not that WE are or were not good enough. It is THEY that were not good enough...but don't get me started this morning. Just know that there are people out there (ok maybe your last date did not work out as planned) who share your values and will love you for who you are. Feeling rejected is not fun....for anybody. I like to think that XW screwed up royally....as did Dan. Regardless of who they are with...I actually believe it.....But no use feeling sorry for ourselves...you are right there are many things to be thankful for in this beautiful place we call earth...get out there....soak it up....breathe it all in. So what if one screwed up person (for whatever reason) made bad choices....You ARE BBJ, SuperFox. Super MOM, Super WOMAN and one day, one SUPER GUY will be lucky enough to find you on his path....keep your head up and chin out BBJ, DO NOT let one small person bring YOU down! Have a nice weekend!
Don't get me wrong, I KNOW that it isn't really that I am not good enough. I know it is that he is f'ed up in many, many ways. But rejection stings regardless...
College friend texted again this morning and invited me to come up and watch his show tonight. Unfortunately planning to get together with my sisters again tonight...well not unfortunate to be with them, but too bad I can't make the show.
Even though I think of this guy as a friend, it is still nice to see HIM contacting ME and trying to find a time to get together. Helps me remember what you said, John. That guys with heads outside their ass@s will recognize a good catch when they see one!
She wanted to come home with me. But I am about to take the blinds off every window in the house (yes, at midnight) because JC Penney comes in the morning with all my new shades! Yay, but lots to do before then...hence leaving the kids with my parents. 
