Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Has WAS lost her mind? (Is this normal)

I believe that Sandi has been on the mark with her advice to you. Re-read her words and begin working hard on finding YOUR balance.

I believe that the spouse who is trying/wanting to leave offers encouraging words from time to time for two reasons. On one hand, there is still a part of them that holds a fondness for us and occasionally they make an effort to let us down gently. On the other hand, encouraging words serve as manipulation to keep us compliant in terms of getting what they want. While one of these is relatively benign, neither of them are helpful to us as we attempt to get our legs underneath us, so to speak.


I like your work on avoiding relationship talk and making it clear to your wife that you are prepared for divorce. That kind of strength is important.


I caution you however as well. If you still have a desire to save the marriage, you must walk a fine line in this area. You are protecting yourself, but at the same time you must find the way to keep the door open to communication that is useful and helpful. In the end you want your wife to know that you remain in love with her and committed to the marriage if only she would choose to labor along side you to do the hard work necesary.


My experience here is that most of us arrive at the this site with our marriages on life support - the outlooks are often quite bleak. You would certainly be in the minority if you manage to come through this with a restored marriage. But don't let that discourage you if that remains your goal. Despite the sometimes bleak results, I remain convinced that the principles shared here remain your best chance of emerging from this mess whole and intact, saved marriage or not.


Blesssings,

Bill