So I guess what you are all saying to some degree is that time is on my side. And during this time I need to reflect on who I am and the kind of person I want to be. I need to start living life for me and the rest will follow.
Seems so easy on paper.
That's a good way to look at it. Taking your points, yes, time is on your side. At times, it will feel like your enemy, but it's not.
On the self reflection, also look at what your part is in getting your M to this point. It's hardly ever one person. Figure out what your part was, address the things you need to fix for you and then fix them. The key is that you are making these changes for YOU. Not for him and not to save your M - two things you do not control.
Start GAL'ing (get a life), meaning, do some things you have always wanted to do but did not have time. Things that don't necessarily cost big $$, but that make you happy.
And the "rest" MAY follow. One of the hardest things is to go through this process with no expectations. You will have them, but you have to put them away right now. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for a big disappointment at the first time something doesn't go the way you had hoped.
Read a lot of posts here, especially ones that are similar to yours (Yes, the situations here are all very similar).
Print out what GIMA posted, memorize it, carry it with you at all times...It is very truthful and it helps calm you down when you are having a weak moment...I still carry my copy with me at all times...Welcome (((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Nah, we're good people. It's like AA; we can help you because we're right there with you.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
AA? LOL. Whatever you call this, I am glad to have found a place where people understand what I am going through. Most of my friends are supposedly happily married and make suggestions that are completely opposite of DB.
BTW, trick or treating with the kids was a success. They had a blast and I had a good time too. H went with us. It was a little ackward at first as this was the first time that I have seen him in awhile. Other than that nothing out of the ordinary happened.
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
Most of my friends are supposedly happily married and make suggestions that are completely opposite of DB.
This is one of the main reasons not to go to friends or family for advice. They love you, you're in pain so they'll offer whatever they think will end your pain quickly.
Good intentions.....
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
