Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Spinning in Circles

Well it seems like a long beach for them right now. Though I know someone is going to post that I don't have a clue what goes on between them. I think om got embarrassed on vacation with her and gave her a ring. So, if they are getting married after his d is final, its going to be a long time til they bail out.

I've reached 'ass' status. XW upset over parenting plan, that she agreed to, over this weekend. She wants kids for a couple days, but had no problem bailing on kids last week to be with OM. OMW says OM doesn't really make an effort for his kids like I do. But, XW upset that I'm upholding the plan. SoN I'm an ass. I don't care.

Haha. Well, let her call you names, but document!

I'd rather be an ass than a doormat, anyday!

Its been a nice week here with my kids. I spent a lot of time with them. That's what I do when my kids are with me. I don't pawn them off or get sitters like xw does. They are my priority. Its obvious they are not xw's. I think my kids really have enjoyed their time here too. They have the freedom to go off with their friends if they want, but it seems their friends like coming here. My D has been very chatty and we got to spend a lot of close time together. Its been nice.

An interesting event happened yesterday. I was in the car with my S13, D10, and a few of S's friends. The Tiger Woods event was brought up. I said that his wife tried killing him with a 9iron cause he cheated on his wife. Well, I got a lot of questions about this, especially from my daughter. I wonder if they were putting 2 and 2 together.

If you read above you saw that my xw called me an ass cause she didn't get what she wanted regarding the kids. Well a couple days later, the "nice" version of xw sent me a note about the parenting plan and asked for a few things in her favor. Of course she's nice when she wants something then calls me names when she doesn't get what she wants.she says she has accomodated all my requests. Well my last request, for her to stop showing up at my door unannounced, was met with a "screw you". I'm not going to do anything for her as long as om is alive. So, I will be called names again soon.I also think she's being dishonest about her plans for xmas with my kids. She's broken the parenting plan a couple times already and I can see the writing on the wall for xmas. She just has total disregard and disrespect for me. I may have to ask my L about this stuff.

Which leads me to OM. These two have been together off and on for almost 2 years.I think they are getting rather serious as he had no problem dishing off his kids to be with her this weekend. She also spurned her family over the holiday. I don't remember her ever doing that. Her family doesn't want anything to do with him. So, my question is, when are they going to blow up? I've seen some timelines on the existence of affairs, but, dang, this is making me nervous.

The pattern continues. When XW wants something, she butters it all up and tries to be real nice. I can see right through it, am trained, and don't fall for her crap.

Last week I was an 'ass' for not giving in. Now, she has made a mistake in understanding the parenting plan and has scheduled another vacation on a 3day weekend with the kids, when its my weekend with them. However, I'm absolutely certain she is not being honest regarding xmas break. She thinks she has taken care of every request I have asked for, thus, I should help her out.

Well, I don't remember too many requests that I have asked of her. I do know my last request was for her to quit showing up at my house all the time unannounced. She answered that with a "screw you". I reminded her of this and said I'd consider her new email after seeing how the next few weeks went. I know she's being dishonest. Her reply, "thanks, you're the best".

I don't really feel like negotiating with a disrespectful liar. As long as she is going to act like a little kid everytime she doesn't get her way, she's probably not going to get her way with me too much. She certainly hasn't figured it out. What's sad is she's not the person I married, not even close. I really believe it now. Her behavior is so stuck in the 'me, me,me' state, its ruined her character.

I can't understand what the problem is - maybe I'm not reading this right.

You have a parenting plan? And she keeps wanting to change it or schedule time that is not hers?

Why? And why do you allow it?

What's in the parenting plan goes. End of story. Full stop. If she goes away when she is due to have the kids then it's HER responsibility to make alternative arrangements. If she goes away and wants the kids when you are due to have them, TOUGH.

Parenting plans are drawn up so both parties understand their responsibilities. They are not drawn up as a starting place for negotiations. Negotiations have already taken place BEFORE the plan was drawn up.

Yes, she either ignores aspects of it or wants to change parts of it. I have stood strong and have followed the plan to a T. She's not good at details and apparently isn't interpreting the plan correctly. Its not my job to interpret it for her, not that its that complicated.

She wants to now 'ignore' all the single day holidays and honor only the week long breaks. Xmas, thanksgiving. I guess its just too complicated to her.

The point of contention over xmas holidays is we split the time over the two weeks from 'end of school to return to school'. A couple weeks ago xw took kids out of school to create a 4 day weekend for herself. Now she's going to pull kids out 3 days prior to xmas vacation to prolong her time with the kids to be out of town. I don't think its right she takes the kids out of school, especially when my sons grades aren't very good. And, my thoughts are 'end of school vacation' starts when she pulls kids out of schoolwhich would effect the drop off date. She isn't saying when she's pulling the kids out, only telling me when xmas vacation is scheduled by the school district. I don't want to get my attorney involved, but xw is only concerned about her vacations.

Had a little action around here tonight. As I was getting in the car to take my son someplace, down the driveway comes xw. I wasn't sure but I thought I saw someone in the passenger seat. Assuming it would be om, I got out and went to the car. I think my son sensed trouble and he went in the house. I said is that om? Xw says yes, would you like to meet him? Stuck my head into the car and I unloaded on him, followed up with do not come to my house anymore and that I was going to kick his ass. He looked so startled. Xw was ticked and trying to get me to stop by telling me to grow up. I had never seen him in person before. What a wimpy, ugly, dude. I scared the crap out of him. He won't be back down my driveway and I guarantee I won't run into him in my neighborhood store.

Of course immediately xw txt me that I shouldn't have done that in front of the kids. I told her not to bring trash to my house and that he's not going to like my reaction if he runs into me without my kids. I will take him apart.

Anyway, I got a little fired up but I've been waiting to run into him for a long time. What a scumbag. At least I didn't take his head off with a golf club.

phew! Well tostada, I cant really tell you that you shouldnt have done that... it made me grin!

Im sure that I probably should be encouraging you to hold your tongue... but Im not going to Well, S was in the house, right?

And I am also glad that you didnt take his head off with a golf club!

As Saffie said, we're supposed to say you shouldn't have done that, it won't get you anywhere but ending up in jail, etc.

I'm going to break that rule though. I think you were very calm, composed and strong. I admire what you did.

If I were in your shoes, I would actually like to think I#d have done the same thing. It's too easy to take a golf club to his head.

I come from one of the 'roughest' cities in Scotland and have had more than a few scrapes in my time. I'm not a violent or aggressive but the guys that scare me most are the ones who are calm and collected when they are in your face. They have a confidence that no golf club can match. That's why he was scared.

My question though is why the h*ll did XW think it was okay to bring the OM to your house? If we excuse the fact she is clearly in need of some common sense or appropriate boundaries in her head, what did she actually expect to happen?

You know she did this to rile you, don't you? I think, judging from her text message response that she thought you'd be all weak, accepting and scared of the OM. Nice 180 bud

You did well. You still have a gold club and he still has his head. I bet you feel good!

Now, I will accept whatever politically correct wrath is to befall my head.