The interesting thing about this is she keeps saying she wants to do it without lawyers. It will cut into her bottom line.
I know where I live you can do this through a mediator. I've already said 6-7 times I will go to the mediator (she went the first week) after we get settled in our new place.
She just won't listen and is now calling me controlling for not going (or talking) when she says.
Under any circumstance - and I don't care what state you live in - DO NOT WAIVE YOUR RIGHTS TO COUNSEL OR SIGN ANY DOCUMENT THAT STATES YOU WILL.
The online forms make it sound easy. With a new house, an old house and children in the picture it WON'T be easy. Get your own attny.
Here, in order to go through mediation both parties must retain an attny in order to take back any agreements the mediator facilitated. If the attny doesn't like the agreement and convinces you or your W to go back to mediation it can be a long and expensive process. My attny is also a certified mediator but can't act as both - I know he charges around 350.00 per hour for mediation and that is reasonable when I comparison shopped when I thought we might go that route.
The interesting thing about this is she keeps saying she wants to do it without lawyers. It will cut into her bottom line.
Tough. It's her choice to leave, it's your choice how to protect your interests in the divorce. She can always go without legal representation if she wants to save money...
Originally Posted By: gettinsomenads
She just won't listen and is now calling me controlling for not going (or talking) when she says.
Well, how are you laying it out to her? It's very simple; if she wants to talk about it, either go with the "we'll sit down with our lawyers to discuss it" or "I'll think about it and get back to you later" approaches.
If pressed, say "We have a lot to deal with right now in setting up the new house, and I want to give those issues the time and attention they deserve. So we'll talk about it later." And walk away.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
It's very simple; if she wants to talk about it, either go with the "we'll sit down with our lawyers to discuss it" or "I'll think about it and get back to you later" approaches.
If pressed, say "We have a lot to deal with right now in setting up the new house, and I want to give those issues the time and attention they deserve. So we'll talk about it later." And walk away.
It's very simple; if she wants to talk about it, either go with the "we'll sit down with our lawyers to discuss it" or "I'll think about it and get back to you later" approaches.
If pressed, say "We have a lot to deal with right now in setting up the new house, and I want to give those issues the time and attention they deserve. So we'll talk about it later." And walk away.
This. ^
Yes I love it.
Also I don't get some of the language she uses.
She callS me controlling for not talking about what she wants to talk about.
Then she says "if I said I wanted to talk about our relationship you would"
I said yes if you want to talk about puttin our relationship back together I can make time for that as far as a divorce I will worry about that later.
The she says "SO NOW YOU WANT A DIVORCE"??
What are we getting then I ask. "A separation".
WTF man???? These mind games and s**t is just too much. All this was on the phone my response "GOTTA GO BYE"
Kids were over at my moms on Sunday so we could pack.
Early on in this I mentioned we should see Michele to help sort this out once and for all.
Sunday she starts to ask about it. Who is this person how much etc etc.
I tell her about DB and that I have read the book. She really didn't like that or the talk about counselling.
She had this huge diagnosis of our marriage and crap. Was totally sarcastic about the fact I had read a book about relationships.
She started going on about something that she did at Thanksgiving (I am in Canada so we have ours earlier).
I was really trying to just listen but she starts blaming me for what she did.
What I get from it all is that I don't support her the way she wants (although I have to say she has never relayed what she wants in that way) and she thinks I am "two faced".
Basically the conversation ends with her saying "I am getting rid of all the two faced people in my life and I lump YOU in with them all.
"Okay too bad you feel that way" and the conversation is over.
Still sleeping in the same bed. Packing the house for our move in one week.
Sick and tired of this S**T sucking the life out of me.
