We've been covering boundaries and signs that things might be getting closer to jump over those boundaries. Like noticing that converstaions with another woman are starting to be more intimate, or that they are choosing to be alone often stuff like that. We've been covering impulsivity. We had some nice conversations but will it work? SOmetimes I feel confident it won't, sometimes I don't know...It's certainly scary right now... conforting? I guess, maybe, but still scary hugs nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
Well...think of it this way: he can't unlearn all of that so if it ever does start to become an issue again, those concepts about boundaries will pop up in his head. He won't ever be able to say, "it just happened", right?
Sounds like he needs to feel like he has some tools to deal with the boundary issues anyway. Can you imagine feeling so powerless that you are able to have anyone come up and turn you upside-down and KEEP you there?
Suppose that helps a bit, knowing that we covered that and hopefully he'll be able to remember how it goes.:) He should really get some counselling, but he won't go there, and I can only do so much. He tries to act as the though guy, but in reality it's easy for him to loose self confidence, specially at times of stress. Still, he knows his mind. He can be assertive with me, so shouldnt' be too diffcult to assert himself if he found himself in a situation he wanted to avoid. I can understand a lot of what happened, I can certainly help to prevent it from happening again.. but sometimes it feels like... wait a second I'm always the one doing all the work.. I need a break!
SOmetimes I wonder if this forgiving business and all the working things out is not only telling him it's ok to do it, I'll forgive you so go ahead and do it again. Ok I know that's not exactly so... but you know when you're so exausted of dealing with something and you even allow silly thoughts coming in? I think I'm at the point where I don't make sense anymore. Glad that there's the long weekend to look forward to, I probably need to rest and relax.
You guys are great and it does help coming here. Hugs nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
