The thing is that I am realizing how much I had put my H on a pedestal. He sure doesn't belong there. I told him last night, no longer is he no longer on that pedestal but he is somewhere bured far beneath it at this point. I have lots to think about.
Apparently, OW contacted my H yesterday to let him know that she is starting to see someone else and that she is following her AA philosophy of "let go and let god" regarding her R with my H. H says he told her that is good because he wants to take the next few months with a trial separation with me to see what is really there in our M and focus on the M.
Is this is all true? Who knows? Personally, I think OW got the sh&* scared out of her when I found out.
H is still determined about the separation. I have let him know I have a lot to consider as well about whether I'm going to continue to let myself be treated this way by anybody.
Here is the biggest irony. The pastor who performed our wedding ceremony 19 years ago, a wonderful man H and I both respected and who was very important to us in those early years just died recently. We are going together to his funeral today. I hope I can handle it emotionally.
Barely hanging on, but at least I AM hanging on....
I hear you on the pedestal thing. I had mine on one too, pretty high. When he fell off im surprised california didnt fall into the ocean it was such a crash. Stay slow and steady, you got some great advice on here to think about. Actually gave me a bit to think about too. Hang in there hon, you're doing great.
RDW. You let him go now. Seperation. Do not open up to him now and let him back in. You have came so far. Continue on with being the best RDW you can be. As for OW.... Affairs are not known to last. We both know this.
rocked, I did the pedestal routine, too. Good, but not good, So, H being dumped by OW. eh? I'm sorry to hear about your good pastor's passing. He is in the better place we will all go home to, we know not when. I'd be concerned if you could handle it emotionally. Feel and express your genuine grief. (())
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Thanks everyone. The funeral was beautiful and H and I actually had some meaningful conversation about our early years. It brought some connection for us, but also some pain.
We have decided to slow down the separation, give it some further time and discussion and adequate time to tell the kids and those closest to us first before he moves out. This has given me more peace. I was feeling it was being rushed and feeling suspicious about why.
In the meantime, I need to get back to feeling FABULOUS and ATTRACTIVE! not there yet, but that's my goal... :-)
TWe have decided to slow down the separation, give it some further time and discussion and adequate time to tell the kids and those closest to us first before he moves out. This has given me more peace. I was feeling it was being rushed and feeling suspicious about why.
Well, this is certainly good.
Originally Posted By: rockedworld
In the meantime, I need to get back to feeling FABULOUS and ATTRACTIVE! not there yet, but that's my goal... :-)
Aw, this one's easy. Go look in the mirror
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
TWe have decided to slow down the separation, give it some further time and discussion and adequate time to tell the kids and those closest to us first before he moves out. This has given me more peace. I was feeling it was being rushed and feeling suspicious about why.
Well, this is certainly good.
Originally Posted By: rockedworld
In the meantime, I need to get back to feeling FABULOUS and ATTRACTIVE! not there yet, but that's my goal... :-)
Aw, this one's easy. Go look in the mirror
awwwwwwwwwww.... thanks Gardener! Just the boost I needed today!
