Quote: We still have not started to discuss the book, but I think we need a rest from R talks. There is such a thing as overkill...
Opt, as I was reading your thread, this is exactly what I was thinking. You need a mental vacation from relationship thoughts. A week. Take a full week off. If your mind wandeers, stop it, count to 10 in 10 different languages. Anything. See how you feel in a week and think about it then. It's a challenge!
1. H actually called at 6 pm to tell me he thought he could sneak out of the meeting and get home earlier so that we could go to the movies. He did at got home around 7:30 pm.
2. When he got home H actually requested a 'hello' kiss (quick peck on lips, girls, do not let your imaginations run riot)
3. He made plans to take the rings to the jeweller on Sat to have them re-sized. Though I did bring the topic up myself. When I told him I could not do it on Sat he changed the plans for Sun.
4. This morning he did carpool so that I could sleep half an hour longer (we went to see 'Seabiscuit' at 9:50 pm. Got home at midnight). He may have said ILY, but I was in no shape to remember (I am not in my best shape in the morning).
I loved 'Seabiscuit'! It is a great movie to improve PMA.
I think Chris Cooper deserves another Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as Tom Smith and I loved his line of "You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
THey look like good positives to me:) SO glad you enjoyed the movie and that he even carpooled so you could sleep a bit more. That does sound good !
I'm here trying to read all the threads. It's difficult to me to answer most of them because when I'm finally here the threads are already so advances and with so many answers I get confused LOL
ANyway looking forward to see more positives in your situation, It seems to me, things are slowly but surely improving Hugsies nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
You have to go see that movie. It is so powerful, It is about second chances and happy endings at high cost in terms of effort.
As to my sitch's progress... I do not know, Pam. I am having a major anxiety attack right now. Do not read further if you are feeling down, please
H jumped out of bed at 6:15 am, brushed his teeth and combed his hair and hurried out, without even taking a shower or having breakfast, in the same clothes he had last night. He told me he has a lot of things to do and that he'll be very late today. He even hurried an ILY and a quick peck as he left.
And I panicked. I am having flashbacks of all this years when he would leave early 'to work' just to go for breakfast and a shower to OW's house 'because we were separated and he lived alone' I toyed with the idea of telling him in a nice, non threatening way, but I did not because I thought that if he is really late and in a hurry having a panicked, clingy W delay him is not going to bring him closer to my goals. So I shut up, and came to the BB instead.
We had a nice evening last night. We met at ice skating and he went to finish some stuff while our D and I stayed for a small presentation. Then we went to dinner to a very nice restaurant we used to go when we first moved here. Of course, that is when he first had his A with this W, and I just did not know it
The curious thing is that as I drove back home I was kind of unsatisfied. H did not talk much (he never does) and our dinner conversation was mostly 'do not do this' and 'leave that alone' directed to our little girl. On my way home I kept thinking about that and how I enjoy table conversations about each others day and plans and ideas and politics. I kept wondering if it was worth all this effort to end up wolfing our dinner down in 1 h with no conversation worth its name...
Let's look at the positives, though:
1. He told me he is going in his Houston bussiness day trip A WHOLE WEEK IN ADVANCE (he used to tell me he was going to be out of town for a weekend the morning he was actually leaving. That is a huge improvement from the man who told his mother we were leaving his home state for Texas literally 2 days before our plane left!).
2. He said ILY, even if it was over his shoulder as he hurried out of our bedroom.
3. I managed to shup up.
Rather flimsy, I know, but they are all I can come up with...
And yes, all my anxiety has the same old cause: I do not trust him and I feel constantly threatened by OW being there. And I have no way to confirm what he tells me because I have no clue of what is going on in his bussiness and whether he has so much work as he says. He sure does not bring any money home! And I am not particularly materialistic, but to have a H say he is working all day but not have him bring a single check... is a bit much.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I am having flashbacks of all this years when he would leave early 'to work' just to go for breakfast and a shower to OW's house 'because we were separated and he lived alone' I toyed with the idea of telling him in a nice, non threatening way, but I did not because I thought that if he is really late and in a hurry having a panicked, clingy W delay him is not going to bring him closer to my goals. So I shut up, and came to the BB instead.