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My XH pulled the same crap.

It's his way of putting it back on you to help alleviate whatever guilt he feels.

He's being weak and manipulative.

It's not about you. It's not your fault. And it's not your problem.


Michelle - Proud DR Rockette
S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09
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(((((((((((Julia)))))))))))))))))

Sorry about the puking. That's no fun at all. frown

His job takes precedence over everything still. That is really sad that he has chosen that path in life. It will make for a long, lonely existence with people drifting out of his life because of his preoccupation. OW doesn't really 'have' him either...she just happens to be the one existing in his world at the moment. It must be a really shallow R.

He's a selfish prick and he mentions Maple for one reason Julia....she is the connection between you but she doesn't demand attention like you would need so she's non-threatening.

IMO - no reply.


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Thanks guys, you are hauling me back from the brink. It was just the shock. Yuck! I do feel like that email was weak and manipulative Michelle, you took the words right out of my mind. And Mishka, I agree with you too re the job and ow. That is a bit of consolation!

I never would have been happy with that life, being second like that, and I deserve better.


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Julia,
it IS your choice to take THIS man out of your life. And it is a wise move, IMO.

No reply, vent and let it all out here...
K


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I know Maria, but it is so hard!

I was doing so much better and contact brings me down, especially crap contact! I won't let it bring me down for long. Stupid, stupid man. He actually faced death, lying in that hospital bed and who was there - me! Why has he decided that this is what life is all about? Sometime he is going to have to face what he has created... I won't be there - luckily!


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(((((((((Julia)))))))))

Gosh.... he really misses the cat!

You and Michelle are a couple of lucky ones, in a lot of ways. You found out early, before you had kids, and while you were still youngsters that your H's were not who you though they were. I think both of them just keep proving it, over and over again!

HUGS!

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I know Jeff, I do thank my lucky stars that there are no further complications! I will just find it really hard to trust that this won't happen again sometime if I do settle down and have kids. I guess at least I'll be more prepared and I can't live by what if's.


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Good luck is all realative!

You know that there are no guarantees. There weren't before, and there aren't now. But I think your judgement is going to be that much finer, and you are a better person than before it all happened. So, takes the lemons and make lemonade! No, not what you call lemonade....

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Lol! Thanks Jeff. Wise words! I will keep them in mind. No guarantees but I can't say I haven't learnt!

And what do you mean? You don't have sugary water with no actual lemons as your lemonade?? smile


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Ha!
I was a little surprised the first time I asked for lemonade over there!

Or ice water.

Or iced tea.

Or a Coke, with actual ice in it! Except at McDonalds!

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