Great day today. It was beautiful weather today, not humid, 75 and sunny here. I did a couple hours of cleaning this morning, then took my final exam for CPR and passed.
Saw one of my friends today; she and her H seemed so happily married but she told me today they've been separated on and off for the past year, and are going to get divorced.She thinks it will be around the time of mine b/c they're in total agreement on everything. She wants to throw a double divorce party with me when we're single. I guess I think it would be fun to have a party, but weird to celebrate the end of a marriage, and with the kids and all. Of course I wouldn't do that anywhere around them, only when they're with X, but still...
Had fun with the kids today and then X picked them up at 6 when it was over. I talked to one of my friends today about being a witness for me in D court next month. Hate to do it, but don't have a choice. He was really nice about it, and said he would do anything he could to help out.
Still doing good. I kind of fell into the kids' program on Wed. nights at a local church (not the one I'm a member at). They have a children's program, teen program, and an adult program so we all can go. Nice people, too.
Been typing handbook and forms for the mom's morning out program. We're hoping to start Dec. 2. I felt bad getting paid, but actually that'll just be the hours I'm at the church, and I'm doing lots of work now before then, so I feel ok about it. And I really do need the $$.
The L emailed today. I gave her the latest on the kids. S15 got on the honor roll, before you get excited his classes are PE, Art, Reading, and Pre-Algebra. He got an A, C, and 2 Bs.
D9 did fine too but a few more C's so not on honor roll. The math teacher had shown me the 48 she had in Math the week before report cards, and she changed that to a C; I supposed b/c of D9's being so hard-working (works harder than any A student), and the fact that she's special ed, but not getting the services. Seems fair to me. I emailed the L saying I'm ok with her attending, but would like to pull her out at the end of the year if she doesn't get special ed services by then.
I also asked her about getting increased alimony in case the child support is lowered (b/c that is X's intention), at least on a temp. basis until I could hopefully get a better-paying job at some point. The judge's rationale at the temp hearing was that I could live rent-free at the old (foreclosed) house and X was paying lots on credit card bills each month. I'm now paying $700 rent though, and X hasn't been paying on the credit card bills this year. He got a raise at work of a couple thousand sometime this year (according to the L). I just want to be able to pay the basic bills and not go in the hole each month. If X starts paying half the copays that should help too, since I've paid 99% of them the past year...
She wants to throw a double divorce party with me when we're single. I guess I think it would be fun to have a party, but weird to celebrate the end of a marriage, and with the kids and all.
You might want to consider getting a divorce cake for the party.
There is Elite Cake which made this one which is close to Miami.
It may be more beneficial for your STBXH to pay more alimony and less child support since he can deduct alimony on taxes. However, bear in mind that you need to declare alimony as income.
Have you considered a lump sum alimony buyout? I did that and paid my XW $40G in addition to the division of assets which I was able to refinance my home to pay off.
Have they started due process as far as your daughter's testing goes? They have 60 days to complete it. That includes conference notifications. Usually the process goes much quicker than that once consent to test forms have been signed.
Is she getting 504 services and accomodations until testing can be done? Usually outside testing and Dr. referrals can get these services for children.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
No money for a lump sum, at least that X will admit to! Yoyo, I know they have the 60 days, but I don't think we ever requested it in writing. Numerous phone calls and meetings with everyone starting mid-August, but I didn't put it in writing or no written request has been made. Should I send a formal letter to D9's school requesting IEP as the evaluator recommended special ed or what do you recommend?
Started a day or 2 ago, to get majorly stressed about the upcoming D, one month from today, waking up in the night, plus financial stuff too. I'm trying to not eat my stress away, and have been working out a couple times a week, and did today also. I took D9 to her first soccer game today and she had fun. When she was goalie, she stopped a goal from the other team which was awesome! Lots of her friends are playing too, so that's a good thing.
I think X is getting stressed too. Has sent me 3 emails in the past half hour. First, to ask me when/why I stopped D9's therapy. Sent back I emailed him and told him I no longer had the funds and my L emailed his L requesting he help pay copays, and his answer was no. Then he emails me so you refuse to work enough to earn $25 a week for D9? I shouldn't have bothered but emailed back, not at all. The one job that agreed to hire me will start in Dec. or January, and I hope to be able to help with copayments at that point. Then he just emailed me back he can't believe I'm having D9 do soccer, I spent money on soccer shoes instead of her therapy, I'm spending extra money on gas for her activities, and keeping her from doing her schoolwork.
Well to be honest, when I signed her up I didn't realize I was going to have to buy soccer shoes, and the tshirt, socks, and shin guards were given to me by the church. I did spend $29 on soccer shoes for her when one of her friends was mentioning the shoes, and consequently I'm going to go in the red again this week. I'm not going to email him any of that though.
My guess is he's stressed too about the D, but just deals with it by turning the anger on me. Healthy...
I'm hoping he's not letting it affect his parenting of the kids this weekend. Hope they are ok, maybe I should call tomorrow am do you think? (he waited until after their bedtime to email me).
So today I get an email from X complaining about the activities I'm having D9 in. That she needs time to unwind and work on her spelling words. I typed up an email in reply and now I'm having second thoughts. Send or not send?
I have her work on her spelling words every day she's with me. I have them already input in for the week on spellingcity.com (did it yesterday). I have had her in fun activities long-term now, and I think they are good for her, and she enjoys them. The soccer is 6 weeks, and I think a great way for her to unwind and have fun. Another girl in her class is playing on her team and she got on the all-As honor roll.
As goalie part of the game, she caught the ball and stopped the other team from scoring! I think she should have more in her life than just school/homework. Your mom told me that when she was in school, her extracurricular activies in sports really helped her have better self-esteem (she had similar learning issues as D9). I think it would be best if we could just focus on our own parenting, and not be critical of each other.
Should I send this or just no reply to his? Thoughts?
Karen, If you have never had a formal conference signing papers, I would contact the counselor/principal and tell them that you want to make a parental referral for special education services/504 services. If this doesn't work contact the Sp.Ed superviser of the district. It certainly sounds like you are getting the run around. Be sure to tell them that you have had her tested by an evaluator and have those results. Those results should get her 504 services until she can be tested by the district.
At the conference they should have an informed consent you sign and conference decision forms. Make sure you get a copy of these forms with the school personnel signatures as well as yours on them. They should have held formal conferences at the beginning of the school year when you requested services. The testing process should be completed by now. I can totally understand your frustration!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yoyo, I really would like to get something in writing; I've had numerous conversations and a meeting already, but nothing's been put in writing. I looked up our county's ese process and it is a really lengthy process and they are in early stages of the pre-referral process. I'm hoping that having a written request might speed up the process. I got a sample referral letter off the web. How does this sound, is it ok, any changes you would recommend?
Dear Mrs. Principal's Name:
I am the parent of D9, who is currently enrolled at (your school) in the fourth grade. My child has been evaluated by Ms. local evaluator, who recommended placement for D9 in a self-contained ESE classroom, or if mainstreamed in the regular classroom with an instructional aide. We provided copies of this evaluation to your school in August, 2009. She is also likely in need of occupational therapy and speech services as well.
I am writing to make a referral for assessment for special education services for D9, as required by 5 C.C.R. Sec. 3021(a). I believe she should be eligible for special education assistance.
I am requesting that D9 be given a comprehensive assessment by the school district and that an IEP meeting be scheduled for her.
I look forward to receiving an assessment plan within 15 days. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at (my phone number). Thank you for your cooperation and assistance.
