My WAS left 4 months ago...we were intimate maybe 1 1/2 months after he left and I felt it was a BIG mistake but then he had shown other signs of "working" on the M so we continued to be intimate...however, I do not want to let him cake-eat...but I feel as though it's a process he has to go through and if I "force" the R then he will be back away again
I still struggle with this one in my sitch which involves an A. On the one hand, I see that the WAS needs to experience the sense of loss or you could just be encouraging cake eating. On the other, I could see that it might help to maintain some connection. In my case, one of the changes W was looking for was more intimacy from me so it seems that it might send the wrong message if I refrained. With that said, I have been advised from some of the heavy hitters on this forum that I should stop any intimate contact while A is ongoing.
hmm..this is a tricky one I believe because obviously we both have "needs" but...I don't know for sure of A but I suspect...however, the DB coach I've had tele conf. with said go with the intimacy, it's a step forward...confused??
I was reading a post in the infidelity forum today where the H and W were struggling to get the intimacy going again during the reconciliation phase. While being intimate might not be good DB strategy, I could see that maintaining some form of intimacy might be beneficial if the R proceeds to piecing because it might help make that transition easier. Just a thought (not DB advice of course!)
