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As far as the vacation, she wants us all to go. My daughter doesn't know what's going on, although I know she knows something isn't quite right. I think in the best interest of my daughter that we should go as a family and try to make the best of it, with no expectations on my end.

You need to verify it, at least if it affects your decision if she were found to be cheating.

Not to alarm you, but in over 10,000 posts, I've only been wrong ONCE once I smell the red flags.

Puppy

Rambler: You are doing well for the early stages. Please remember to really back off right now. I (and others) am living proof that if you don't, you will push your wife right out the door. Let her feel as comfortable as possible in her home. She needs to feel safe and secure - otherwise she will feel she needs to look for that somewhere else.

Just back off and do everything you can to focus on other parts of your life. This forum is great, but you can spend too much time here. There is no "trick" or "quick fix" to be found here, so don't go looking for it.

You will need to learn what real patience is and be prepared for the long haul. You will read this tons of times: it took years to get where you are, you will not get out of it in a few days, or even weeks. Patience.

Cheaters Lie Peroid. My wife was always honest with me... Plus if your wife was honest with you... Why was she not honest about not being happy the last little while?

So what changes have you seen in your wife the last little while?
Clothes , staying out, working more, Extra care on grooming, took up exercise, weight loss ... there are many more. Lots of red flags.

Remember. No matter what you do. Keep your daughter and your house. She wants out. She leaves. And always agree with her wanting out. Help her if needed. And if she says you should see other people as well. Agree.

As far as telling her I love her, I did stop doing that before I bought the DR, apparently I did the smart thing there. As far as an affair, I know things can happen. If it changes anything about how I feel about the marriage - well, let's just say it would hurt me if she did, but I am still wanting this to work - call me a fool but I love her that much. For me to investigate it, knowing me, I am not sure it would help my case and my emotions may get the better of me.

I am not expecting a quick turn around... I know this will be a true test of patience. I have been doing my best giving her space, not following her around the house, keeping conversations simple, being friendly in my tone and happy. I have been doing my best to choke down the pain - I'll have my breakdowns when I'm alone or driving and then keep my composure around her. Haven't pushed the R talk or even mentioned it. She had mentioned last night she would probably talk about all of this, which I plan on telling her that I do not wish to talk about it, but want to figure things out and take this all in. Is that the right approach to get out of the "talk"? One small positive is that she actually slept in the same bed with me last night (nothing intimate). Not getting my hopes up but got to take the baby steps and be thankful for the small positives right?

I have tried to hit the ground running on this whole situation, and I am a very determined person when I know what I want. However I have been keeping myself from pursuing her, I haven't been pushy, and I have refrained from being clingy. I know inside that my emotions have my good days and bad - (meaning one minute I'm fine and others I'm not - but I'm not letting her see that

I have been trying to look at this whole ordeal as an opportunity to make myself a better person and find myself again - not for my wife but for myself. I am convinced that this is the best approach and perspective I can take. In the end I hope that it doesn't come at the exspence of my marriage. Lord knows what little faith I had is being stretched to its limit, but I got to hold on to faith and hope and love, because if I don't then I have nothing... Faith is believing in the unseen. I have also been trying to look at this situation with the mentallity that I having nothing else to lose

This was the one thing I did right. While I feel my crappy dbing pushed my wife out the door, at least it's not me that is leaving. A lot of people here objected, and maybe rightly so, but I even helped her out financially. I actually made it easy for her, once she had made the decision she had to be "out now". It may have been wrong, but I am determined not to beat myself up over it. It's only money and I still say that this way if she ever chooses to return, it will be for the right reasons. And if not, it made one part easier on everyone including my kids.

It kinda sucks to live in a house filled with memories, but some "normal" is good for me at this point and very good for my kids.

No plans on moving out on either of our parts any time soon... (at least that is the story so far.) and maybe not for months... I will have to cross that bridge when I get there