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What types of changes are you referring to? Ive been working on myself as best I can. Im working out everyday, spending time with my kids as much as possible. The last two days I went to a Halloween part with friends from work and had a good time. Last night went to a birthday party with an old nieghbor friend and family.Do you mean 180 in regards to her. We havent had really any contact except for the kids. Not sure how to do 180 with her when we dont speak or rarely see each other. Please advise if you have any suggestions. I open to anything.

Excellent. We like to see these things because it tells us you're not just moping around the house asking yourself why your wife wants to leave you. (To which the answer often is, "because you're moping around the house asking yourself why your wife wants to leave you.")



Although it will help if the 180s are related to difficult parts of your relationship, 180's aren't about changing for the sake of the other person.

You have to do them for yourself, because if they're not then you won't keep them up if/when you see them "not working", which will just tell your wife that you're trying to manipulate her into staying. The point is to change the relationship by changing yourself; when she sees you're not the same person that she was unhappy with a month ago, that may make her stop.

Some good posts about 180's can be found here and here.

I didnt spend halloween with my babies ages 1 and 3. My w had them and they spent the day at my cousins and went trick or treating. About 8 oclock she send me two text of photo images of my son in his costume. I felt like crying and screaming at her. Why would she send this to me.Is it her way of trying to hurt me? She knew how badly I wanted to see the kids on halloween but she never brought up the possibility of us hanging together with the kids. She says they need structure and when its her days its her days and vise versa. Then why send me the photos? I never responded but I really wanted to but I thought what would I gain from a negative response.

It's possible. It's also likely that she may have sent them to you because she wanted you to have something of their Halloween. She might have been trying to do you a favor...



So you text back and say "thanks for the pictures, he looks great!". Then you scream, cry, throw pillows at the wall, or do whatever you have to do to get it out of your system.

But don't do it where she can see or hear; she should get nothing from you but a positive mental attitude and detachment.

So I took your advice and said thanks for the pics he looks great. Her response"He had fun and D thats 1 never made in her costume. I want to rspond with would have been nice to be there with my kids. Or maybe as a family? Should I say anything?

All responces should be with no R talk. Also if you question or have doubt. Do not do it.

Basic rule.

Let it go.

Exactly.

OKay all my support I need some input on this one. I had to have a medical procedure done yesterday. My w he hasnt had a face to face with me since she left came by to see me today and to drop off kids to visit for a while.
She sat on the bed and asked me a ton of questions about the doctor and the procedure. She also talked about the kids and she felt like someone should have told her about the procedure and that I was in the hospital. She hugged me a few times and seemed genaerally concerned about me. Baby steps..The last time she hugged me I kissed her she recipracted but then sais stop this will just confuse the situation. What should I make of this?

Exactly. This is very similar to my situation -- my wife had to go in for surgery, and I stopped all R talk for the three days she was in the hospital and was just there for her. I think it went a long way towards changing the course of things.



Exactly what she said.

She obviously still has feelings for you, but you can't push on them or she'll pull back. If she wants to be there for you while you recuperate, let her be. No R talk!

I didnt say anything about our R but Im sure confused!