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ouch, 2x4 upside the head. I did speak to a couple lawyers last week about my situation, but my conversations were mostly centered around child custody and not child support. According to both, I would most likely get the short end of the stick when it comes to custody due to the fact that she decided to move an hour away, near her family. She would most likely get physical custody and then I would get weekends. It really sucks!

Since that would be the case, if I did something legally for support, I would most likely get raked through the coals. Since she isn't working, I would probably have to make credit card payments, as well as additional funds for child support.

Just dropped my son off....it was very hard. I didn't let her know that though. Once I got back in my car and was out sight, I let loose with a good cry. The pain was overwhelming, but I am now just looking forward to picking him up again on Friday

Going to pick up my son today after work , VERY happy about that. Him and I will go out to dinner at a local establishment tonight, with all very cute wait staff that absolutely adore my son.

We will be going to get him a haircut tomorrow morning and then we are going to one of his cousin's b'day parties. This will be the first time that any of my family has seen my son and I since the bomb was dropped, so it will be very good to be around family & friends. Looking forward to it (except the ride - about 2.5 hours...ouch).

Have a GREAT weekend everyone.
pitin

Well, had a GREAT weekend with my son! Yesterday was absolutely AWESOME! We left the house at 9 am and headed out for a 2.5 hour trek across the state. When we got to our final destination, I decided to get him a haircut. He was so good and all the employees (a Supercuts) loved him. He sat in the chair all by himself, I was so proud of him.

We got to his cousin's b'day party and he was the hit of the party. (this is the first time many at the party met him and the first time my family has seen him in several months). We had such a good time there.

Today I will be going to drop him off with his mother. I am hoping to get him back on Thursday evening or Friday morning. I can't wait.

A bit of a conundrum for me.

I will preface this by saying that me and the W have not really discussed finances yet. (child support etc) I just try to give her what I can each week.

In the past we ran up some pretty serious credit card debt. We were both to blame for it. We both have multiple cards in our names. One of the things that I have tried to do over the last couple years was to pay them down and try to eliminate the debt. Unfortunately, she didn't really follow in my footsteps and continued to use them. Not extravagantly, but enough to get under my skin.

Since she dropped the bomb, I have been giving her the bills that are in her name. Granted we both are liable for them, but I also have a few in my name that we are both liable for.(almost equal balances for each of us) I have continued to pay mine, PLUS our car insurance, PLUS some other outstanding household debts that we are both liable for, PLUS the mortgage(s).

I know she has NO money and no real job (like I have said in previous posts, she has her own business, but it is struggling right now), so should I feel guilty about giving these bills to her knowing she has no way of paying them?

Right now, if I were to pay them, I would be upside down since the amount due would put me in the RED each month. It was very tight before she left since her business really didn't contribute to the household at all. But she also poorly managed one of her cards prior to the bomb (another thing that got under my skin), which increased the interest rate about 4 TIMES, raising the min. each month from about $80 to almost $300!

I'm just not sure if I should be doing this or not. Does anyone have any guidance about this. Thanks in advance.

pitin

Pit,

1) Your wife left you, and so far from what I've read, without giving you a valid reason.
2) She avoids all talk about your relationship, besides that she is done. She does not want to talk to you about anything.

Do not initiate any money, relationship or marriage talk. The only "conversation" you are allowed to initiate is about your son. Fight the urge to be her knight in shining armor. If she needs or wants your help she will come to you. She is an adult, so treat her like one - even though she is not behaving like one.

Since you are avoiding paying for legal advice or pursuing a legal separation then it's time for you to treat her like an adult.

Let her live up to the consequences of her actions. I'm not saying "Don't help her." She is the mother of your child and its your duty to see that your son is taken care of. So help her when she asks for it.

As for the debt issue. You know that you are liable for it. It may be in your own interests to initiate a legal separation. Why? Because she is behaving irrationally. Document all these actions for the future in case things don't work out.

Speaking with her last night over the phone, she mentioned that I should be expecting some paperwork by the end of the week (I assume legal separation documents). I have no idea what she is going to want from me. I know it is something that we should have in place so that there are no gray areas, but it sure does sting a bit.

So now, I am wondering how I should act towards her. I have been very friendly and cordial for the most part throughout the initial couple months of our separation. I am really torn if I should continue to be friendly and cordial or to be more businesslike now that she is pushing even further with the separation.

That would depend. Were you acting friendly and cordial as some ruse to get her back, or because you believe it is The Right Thing to Do to treat people this way?

Puppy

I think it is the right thing to do.

Well, I have been served divorce papers. I feel horrible right now.....I was doing pretty good up until this point. I am so sad right now.

I didn't think it would come to this so fast. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me.