Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10
CABBR #1864990 10/30/09 04:32 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
I just spoke to a couple lawyers. Due to the circumstances of me working full time and far from home and her now living near her family, they both think that my odds of physical custody are very low. This whole thing just really S*CKS!


Me 44/W 32
S1
M8
Bomb 9/25/09
Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
I just went to meet my W and pick up my son. We meet at a half way point and make the exchange. When I got out of my vehicle to walk to her, I made sure I walked proud and looking happy (which I was anyways because I was picking up my little boy). When I got to her, the first thing she said was, "you look good"....she hasn't said that since the bomb was dropped.

I went out to a local restaurant/bar last night (we used to go there together all the time) and I mentioned it in a casual manner just to let her know that I wasn't sitting around by myself last night. She changed the subject pretty fast.

Anyways, I think I handled it pretty well today. My son is napping right now, but when he wakes up, I will enjoy every moment with him.

Everyone have a great weekend and let's go Phillies! (not usually a phillies fan, but I am this year...hahahaha)


Me 44/W 32
S1
M8
Bomb 9/25/09
Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
I need some quick input here. Please help me here.

Since my W decided to walk out on me and our family and now it seems all her financial responsibilities also.

We have yet to discuss any financial arrangements. Since she walked out I have been giving her her mail (mostly credit cards in her name)....one of my biggest issues with her when we were together was her lack of financial responsibility. She always felt I concentrated on our finances too much and I stressed about it, but I felt like I handled all the burden as the sole provider (her business did not add much to the household over the few years it has been open) and also the one that paid all the bills. She had several cards, but one that she claimed was for her business, so she wanted to manage that one. I was reluctant, but trusted she would handle it. Well, she mismanaged it and missed several payments over time (not consecutively) and eventually the rate was jacked to 30%!!!!!!!!!!! I was VERY disappointed and I let her know that.

Anyways, I have really tried to pay down our credit cards over the last couple years and tried not to use them anymore. She continued to use them which I was not happy with. This really created more resentment for me and it made it really hard for me to "love" her the way I wanted to.

Well, it now looks like she isn't making any of her credit card payments (which probably add up to around $500/mo). Does everyone think that I should offer to make these payments for her since we have yet to determine any child support?

PLEASE I NEED HELP QUICK! I will meeting her today to give my son back to her and I just opened another cc bill and saw that she missed a payment (a different card). I don't know if she is possibly persuing bankruptcy or some other means to try to pay these cards.


Me 44/W 32
S1
M8
Bomb 9/25/09
Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 730
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 730
If the credit cards are in her name, wouldn't that be her problem?

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
I agree. Yes they are in her name and believe me, the last thing I want to do is make her life without me any easier. My conundrum is that I haven't really given her much money (no child support) since she walked out. Should I offer to transfer some money to her checking acct for child support?


Me 44/W 32
S1
M8
Bomb 9/25/09
Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
Can I get some more input here please?

Should I offer to give her approx a couple hundred dollars a week for child support? I don't want my son to go without. My concern is that she would pay credit card bills and other expenses instead of necessities.

Please, I really need some guidance here.


Me 44/W 32
S1
M8
Bomb 9/25/09
Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
Quote:
Please, I really need some guidance here.


Talk to a lawyer.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach #1866264 11/02/09 04:22 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
Originally Posted By: Coach

Quote:
Please, I really need some guidance here.

Talk to a lawyer.


Yeah. We're good at helping with DB and relationship stuff, but these kinds of questions are best answered by your attorney.

(Any lawyers on here would likely tell you that they could only give general advice, and that any such advice should not be construed as official counsel, etc. They're funny like that.)


Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 124
I totally understand, but I am just trying to gage what I should do without getting lawyers involved right now.

Did anyone agree to child support without lawyers? If so, what type of deal did set up with your WAS?


Me 44/W 32
S1
M8
Bomb 9/25/09
Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
Originally Posted By: pitinmygut
Did anyone agree to child support without lawyers? If so, what type of deal did set up with your WAS?


You're certainly welcome to work out a child support plan without legal counsel; personally, I think you're being a freakin' idiot to do so.

Part of the other reason to consult with a lawyer is to show your wife that you are taking this divorce talk seriously. Many WAS's want the divorce to be easy and amicable; that's part of the fantasy. Show them they don't get the fantasy, and that will make them think twice.


Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."
Page 5 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5