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I'm sorry you're having such a rough time this week. That was a nasty welcome home today. She didn't tell you what she was planning?

I would establish your boundaries here. "You don't live here anymore. You chose to leave this house. If you wish to take something from the house, you will make arrangements with the person living here." I would also talk to an attorney about a what you need to do to protect yourself. Changing the locks is pretty cheap.



You will learn a lot about yourself, your boundaries, and your relationships. You will be a better father to your son.

SpinFree

Thanks for the input. She did mention she would be coming by the house and getting some things to make the new house comfortable for her and my son. She gave a list of a few things, but I notice a lot more missing. I have been trying to detach, but thins like this make it so hard.

I just spoke to WAW and let her know that I am not happy with things and that we need to talk. I came right out and told her that I want more custody of my son and she got all mad at me and claimed that I can't have more custody! I only get him 2 days a week right now....I told her it is my right to get him 50% of the time!

Also, she has basically made up her mind to stay in the area she is in now and I told her that our son will not be going to school there...we made a decision a long tome ago that the town we were living in (the one I am in now) had a very good school system and he would go here. Now she is going back on that word! I told her I want him to go to school here

She hung up on me. Huge reality slap for her!

Have you talked to an atty to 1) find out what your rights are, 2) protect your financial interests and 3) protect your time and relationship with your son?

And it sounds like changing those locks is an excellent idea- she has no need to be in your house if you're not there.

I have not spoken to an attorney yet, but I will be consulting some....hopefully tomorrow. I am in MA. Does anyone know what the typical custody is here? She make little to no money and now she told me tonight. I have been the only real provider.

She decided to take my son and move over an hour away. She has no access to financials.

pitinmygut...I doubt that you could take your W off of your insurance even if you wanted to. You can't just take her off just because she left you, or at least, most health insurance plans would not allow that. You see, if that were the case, people could take their spouses on and off their insurance on a whim, and that just wouldn't be fair in many cases.

And besides, in your case, I don't see how that would really make any difference anyway. All it would do would be to tick her off. If you want her off your insurance, you are likely going to have to divorce her. Many plans won't even take off a spouse that is separated.

I think maybe you are just hurting and would like to hurt her back, but that type of thinking is going to backfire on you.

I could be wrong, but call your insurance carrier to find out.

DQ

Thanks DQ. You are right - it was initially due to anger that I considered it.

It is just so obvious that W is living in lala land right now. When I was talking to her earlier I made a comment that a "friend" would not take another friend's son away from him and move an hour away. I said I would never do that. W then says that she has been a very good friend - her reasoning was that she met me half way when I would pick my son up. WOW, really, that is the ONLY reason she could come up with?????

I am caught in such a bad sitch right now. I don't know what to do. with the decisions my WAW has made, I have basically been rendered a weekend dad for my son and that is it. I had so many hopes and dreams of a great future with my son and watching him grow up and watch him play sports. There is no way that I will be able to do that now, since she has decided to live over an hour away from me. I am so frustrated, upset, sad and angry.

I really need some input here guys/gals.

After the conversation last night ending with my W hanging up on me, I feel horrible that I hurt her, but good that I was able to get some things off of my chest. I have avoided sending any type of R e-mails for the last few weeks, but since she probably won't answer her phone and I am work anyways, does everyone think it would be OK to send a message along these lines:

W,

The conversation last night got out of hand and I am sorry about that. We are both hurting right now from all that has transpired over the last few weeks.

If there is one thing that you definitely know about me, is that I don't like to lose.When I talk to you and hear the things you say, I feel like I have failed miseraby at being a husband and a father. Since I hate to lose, it is in my nature to want to repair those things and become succesful at them. Unfortunately, the decisions you are making are not conducive for either of those to happen and it deeply saddens me.