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She is not really close to her family. Most of the people in her life are my relatives. How can we continue to keep going to these events and act like everything is okay.
If she truly wants a divorce its not just from me its my entire family.

She cant take one day of her life to read a book that could possible save our marriage. Im not sure if I want anything to do with this person. How can someone tell you they love you one day and the next send you a text message that they our miserable and our moving on with there life.

That's really their decision, but eventually as time goes on the separation will occur naturally.

In my W's case, she has few close friends left and she lives in a town where I have a lot of friends. So she keeps running into my friends. I haven't told them to be mean, I just let everyone know we are no longer together, and apparently she says she's been getting the cold shoulder.

Of course, a lot of things just happen in her head. If someone doesn't say hi to her with the appropriate cheerfulness she obsesses that they don't like her.

A lot of peoples spouse say that here don't take it personal. She is just trying to make herself feel right with the decision. Just agree with her and say you are right what is the use in saying this. We should go are separate ways.

I know im not saying she cant talk or hangout with them but she cant have both.

Im trying and taking it day to day. Every day that passes gets a little easier but I still Love her and dont really know what happened. We havent even talked face to face since she left. Im wondering if that will ever happen

Im trying and taking it day to day. Every day that passes gets a little easier but I still Love her and dont really know what happened. We havent even talked face to face since she left. Im wondering if that will ever happen

Because they have been building up that disappointment and/or resentment for weeks, maybe even months. You must remember that they are hurting also, and hurt people will lash out.

Maybe they tried to talk to you and you didn't listen. Maybe they just internalized it all.

The important thing is to realize that they have a script that they are working out of. It may not be an actual plan, but these things follow very predictable patterns.

So the trick is to throw a shoe into the works.

She expects you to argue with her about all of the things that you did wrong, to defend yourself. So you validate her emotions without necessarily agreeing with them. Practice saying "I understand why you feel that way"...

She is going to expect you to beg and plead to stay with her, reinforcing the idea that she's created in her head that you are clingy and desperate. So you start to detach emotionally and "go dark"; she knows NOTHING of what you are doing unless absolutely necessary (coordinating picking up and dropping off kids, etc.).

You also need to get out of the house and find things to do without her; this will help fight off depression, build your confidence and self-esteem up, and create in her mind the idea that maybe you're more okay with this than she thought... which means maybe you're not the person she thought.

Don't be upset that she won't read the book. If anything, reading the book may cause her to view your work on detaching, getting a life, 180s, etc. as attempts to manipulate her because she'll know your "secrets".

Hey, So definitely not in the position to give advice. Slowly I feel as my situation progresses I may one day be able to help others out. But I read your situation and it is very similar to mine. The main part being that I also have a 1 and 3 year old. Sometimes I find it so unbearably hard to believe that somebody would want to take the opportunity of having a loving, caring family away from children so young. Now I don't agree with staying in a marriage for the children's sake, but I also don't agree with walking out without even trying. As far as I understand your situation that's what happened and that is definitely what happened in mine. My H woke up one day and decided he isn't happy and within a week left to stay with his sister. So basically I understand what you're going through, as I think we may be going through very similar things, and just wanted to let you know I'm here, and if you need someone to vent to that may know EXACTLY what your feeling then go for it. My H and I were in the middle of building a house when he left. hhhmmm...I too have days where I think "Do I really want to be with this person? How can you wake up one day and tell your spouse you love them and go finalize plans to build a new home together and the next day wake up and tell them you're unhappy and leaving?" I don't get it. Anyways, I'm here...

P.S. we are only on week four of separation...so I'm as new to this as you are.