Part 2 is accomplished as the LC is near the limit and I will not replenish. As recommended, I advised her that I will no longer financially support her affair.
She just tried to come into the room again. She continues to deny that she's had an affair and that I should be "very careful" what I say.
Something you should know about WAS, she's always been extremely concerned about what people think of her. She's always wanted to convey an appearance of perfection. Perfect marriage. Perfect family etc. It's a family trait. The suggestion of an affair is therefore something that will cause her great consternation.
I got that too . Slander... Who cares... Its not slander... Ignore that fog. Its to scare you and allow her to carry out her plan she has set up. Too bad your not going to play in her game.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Something you should know about WAS, she's always been extremely concerned about what people think of her. She's always wanted to convey an appearance of perfection. Perfect marriage. Perfect family etc. It's a family trait. The suggestion of an affair is therefore something that will cause her great consternation.
Then you have more leverage than you realize. The whole reason she's trying to threaten you with (frivolous) lawsuits is because she is scared witless that you will bring her fantasy world crashing down around her. The important thing is to wield your power wisely. You cannot force her to stay with you; you can make her face the truth about herself and your relationship.
If she tries to sue you for slander, you can bring the whole thing into the light. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to prove that she's having an affair.
If she walks away from your family, then she gets to explain to the kids why she's leaving them in front of you so you can help keep the facts of the situation straight.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I reduced my alcohol consumption, made an effort at not being so quick to anger, and helped out more around the house.
out of curosity, to better understand your wife, the alcohol consumption and anger has that been going on throughout your marriage or your way of reacting to "the bomb?" how much? how often?
Something you should know about WAS, she's always been extremely concerned about what people think of her. She's always wanted to convey an appearance of perfection. Perfect marriage. Perfect family etc. It's a family trait. The suggestion of an affair is therefore something that will cause her great consternation.
VERY good to know. Much like my wife, D'd&B'd. We can use this.
I managed to get out of the house before WAS awoke. However, this morning I received a telephone call from an angry mother-in-law who says she spoke with OM (he is mother-in-laws personal trainer as well) who denies any PA (and presumably EA). She also says she knows her daughter and she would never do such a thing. Around the same time I received a voice message from spouse saying that after 14 years we really need to sit down and talk things over (she referred to the fact that I spoke with her mother so I'm assuming she learned of convo between OM and mother.). Eight minutes later she telephoned and left a another message in a rage (similar to the 10 or so from the evening before) accusing me once again of slander.
I arranged for my lawyer to cancel the 2 on 2 meeting that had been scheduled for tomorrow on the basis of my discovery of the affair. He also advised that we want answers with respect to the $5,000 cash withdrawals over the past two months.
Is there anyone out there who regards, given the facts referred to above (and her acknowledgement that she "loves" OM), the denials as plausible? From my perspective, one (especially a guy) doesn't get to "I love you xo" simply by kissing and talking.
I reduced my alcohol consumption, made an effort at not being so quick to anger, and helped out more around the house.
out of curosity, to better understand your wife, the alcohol consumption and anger has that been going on throughout your marriage or your way of reacting to "the bomb?" how much? how often?
Too much. Almost exclusively beer. Most nights. It had been an issue with her for a couple of years prior to the bomb. Following the bomb I cut back dramatically. It was one of the changes she commented upon favourably.
From my perspective, one (especially a guy) doesn't get to "I love you xo" simply by kissing and talking.
Making assumptions isn't going to help you. You don't know. You may never know.
In my mind you are too focused on the details of what she may or may not have done. Given that she is in some kind of affair, what are you going to do? She's not going to stop just because you want her to. Exposing it as you have done may lead it to end, but it still could take time. You can't control that. So, what do you want? What are you going to do?
