Puppy I want to ask you a personal question. you can ignore it if you wish.
a few months ago, you were concern about a possible another man. did this turn out to be the situation or just warranted suspiscion based on your wifes behaviors at the time? I kinda get lost in that thread with the other concerns and replies and couldnt tell for sure.
It turned out to be nothing. There were two phone #s on her cellphone billing, and I "knew" only ONE of them could be her new DGF (divorced girlfriend). I did a search on them, and one of them was registered to a name very close to a guy at her gym that i KNOW had the hots for her.
Well, BOTH #s turned out to be DGF's -- one home, one cell. Thank GOD I didn't confront her on it.
Don't get me wrong, she was, definitely (and she has admitted this) going out with this group of divorced women, and enjoying the attention from the men she was getting, and "feeling her way" in a world that she never really got a chance to explore. She went directly from living with her parents, to living with me when we got married, and so she never really did the single-scene thing. But she very quickly tired of it, and she is now more domestic than ever, preferring family stuff and her and me going out on dates.
It's almost like it was a VERY short-lived MLC, or maybe I was just not as aware as I should be and I was seeing the END of one, and had never really seen her two years of issues as being MLC-related? Not sure.
We're going to start going to MC, and have our first one set up next week, and we're looking forward to it. She KNOWS she has this "wild streak"/"bad girl"/wanderlust side to her, and she wants to learn how to safely explore that WITHIN her marriage, instead of having to look OUTSIDE of it. Cuz she knows she screwed up by having an affair, and she says she never, EVER wants to do that again. I think this is why our role-playing has become so exciting and edgy lately: we're trying to incorporate some of those "wanderlust"/"dirtygirl" things safely into our own intimacy.
Pup...I am soooo happy for you....and so proud of you. Really proud of you. You have proved you are the man. You have proved you can go outside your comfort zone. You were willing to give her what she needs. You have shown so many things, and sir you will prevail. Amen.
Last edited by sgctxok; 10/11/0902:39 PM.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
My wife and I had a really nice weekend again. Friday nite I initiated inviting her and the boys (and she subsequently invited her parents) over for some grilled wings, pizza and snax to watch the Yankees game. She seemed wary at first as to why I wanted to have it at MY house (I've been mostly at hers lately), but it's where the grill is, so that was a natural. I do think she (and the kids) still get weirded out when I spend time alone here, but I think it's important for us to take this slowly. We had a really nice time at our little "party" and we all went back to her place where I spent the night.
Saturday was S13's baseball game, and we got our first win after an 0-3 start (I manage the team). My wife asked me several questions about the game, and seems to be genuinely working on positive affirmation and talking to me about my interests, which makes me feel really good. Rest of the afternoon I did chores, and then W invited me out on a date to go see "Couples Retreat" together, which was a really good movie (and also very good for US, considering its message). We went out for a snack and some drinks afterward, and then I spent the night at her place.
Sunday was more chores, watched some football alone at my house, and then we went to a 50th wedding anniversary party for a couple that had been our pre-Canaa (sp?) sponsorship couple 26 years ago when we got engaged. We've stayed pretty close to them over the years, we're pretty sure they know about my wife's affair two years ago (they at least know we almost got D'd), although it's never been discussed with them. The party was really nice, and at one point they had a slide slow with music, showing all kinds of family photos and memories of them, their kids, their grandkids and family vacations and stuff. W and I were holding hands, and I leaned over at that point and whispered in her ear ("I want us to have one of these slide shows someday,") and she just smiled and gave my hand a squeeze.
We danced.
A huge curveball in the evening was the bomb that her former best female friend and her husband are getting a divorce. We knew only that "they were having some issues," and this woman was one who totally distanced herself from MY wife when my wife had her affair, and they've only recently started becoming friendly again. No idea if there is OM/OW involved in their sitch, but the long car-ride home gave us the opportunity to talk about some things about how we think the two of them took each other for granted, how WE took each other for granted, etc. My wife seemed really genuinely upset to hear about this couple.
The party was really nice, and at one point they had a slide slow with music, showing all kinds of family photos and memories of them, their kids, their grandkids and family vacations and stuff. W and I were holding hands, and I leaned over at that point and whispered in her ear ("I want us to have one of these slide shows someday,") and she just smiled and gave my hand a squeeze.
Puppy
This makes H4U
We've had a couple of those moments also Pup. Couple of times where we've talked about growing old spoiling our grandkids.
And it's pretty darn nice isn't it?
I think your going slow is a good thing Pup. No need to hurry when things are going so well. And just think, you can burp and f*rt all you want in your Bach Pad and no one is around to complain!
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
