Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I am never coming back !!!!!!!!

I am still waiting to hear from the others. I have met with FaithfulH a couple of times and I met with 2 other DBusters one from Arlington and one from Arkansas. I haven't met with any of these latest ones.

Kevin

Hey guys! I'm game for a meetup! B and Mach and all the others have fun without me cuz I'm down here in TX!! I'm in the DFW area, let me know.

Still waiting to hear from jon2911 and fightin4mywife. FaithfulH is in. I will try and coordinate a time and place that works for everyone in the next couple of weeks. I think this will be absolutely great. I am looking forward to it.

Kevin

Read you were having a hard time on another thread. I hope your money probs are resolved soon. Hang in there, honey.

Maybe she needs to ask herself how SHE will feel if, a decade or so from now, she knows she'll have deeply and perhaps permanently damaged her Rs with the kids AND probably increased their chances of poor M's, low self esteem, commitment and abandonment issues, trust, and basically know that her selfishness will have done irreparable damage to her own children. I believe that if a woman faced this reality, IF, then she'd never for a minute go through with it. Frankly, it is in HER interest not to b/c she'll want to look herself in the mirror or in the eyes of her children and their children and know they see a woman they love, they know, and whom they admire...instead of a woman who deeply disappointed them when they needed her. She won't be able to come back from this the way she thinks. No, They will NOT be "happy for her" if she leaves. (I'm assuming her h is not an ogre, right?) She can rationalize all she wants but she'll be like her dad was to her and you and here she is, repeating a mistake that she knows is a terrible one. Of course she's teaching her kids to carry on the tradition. How does SHE feel about your ex h now? Does she now "get why he left his family"? If not, then she needs to see she's doing the same thing and if she says she now does "get why dad left" then you can tell her she must have inherited the same "rationalization" gene...

good luck -that's a tough sitch. If my son ever pulls something like an MLC I will be on a plane out there to help my DIL...

((( j )))

Thank you for your response......my MLC husband is not her birth dad but he came into our lives when she was 14....... she really does not like him right now for what he has done.....keeps telling me that I know that she has been unhappy for a very long time... and she has,but why must there always been someone else when they finally see how unhappy they are.....

In my opinion, the OP is like that new gadget that is new and shiny.

Its fun for a while. Then, the buyers remorse hits.

Some continue to enjoy the gadget. Others decide to trade it in or buy the next hot gadget.

Its sad that some continue to look elsewhere for happiness.

seems so much easier to leave when OP is there b/c God forbid they, the WAS, are EVER alone...

I read somewhere the "worst thing in the world is not being alone, it's wishing you were alone."

Anyhow, good luck to you on this tough issue of having a d doing a MLC. Yikes...but remember how you're sil must feel. Oh the poor guy. He needs some advice. Heck, send him here but don't reveal your name...
j-

IRMA, Is this your 2nd marriage? 25Yearsmlc, they will not be alone! They will get someone, anyone, you can count on that. Typically, the person they get is someone younger. Don't you know that they have to prove to everyone that they still have it? LOL

Braveheart...sadly you are right. Often they just cannot be alone b/c then that would mean somehow, in some odd way, they must have been "wrong"....

The lbs'er usually WANTS to be alone for awhile, if they're healthy. They want to process their loss, learn from it so it won't happen again, and heal...so they do some soul searching. The WAS usually does no soul searching until after a few more failed R's, if then, and we can only hope the failed R"s don't involve children.

My fil is in a good m now, I have to admit. But it's his fourth...no lie. My "new" mil is a widow from a 40 year M and never had a crazy M before. She has taught him a lot about what healthy m's look like. So when she married my fil, who had improved but still had much work to do, she just didn't put up with any of his M ending garbage. But she loved him like a "velvet glove in an iron fist" and she did not "need" him; she loved him. They are still together and it's the happiest and kindest he has ever been in the 30 years I've known him. So People can change and improve even after the age of 55. But they have to want to. And he only did the "gee, maybe it's ME" soul searching after wife #3 left him. Go figure.
Better late than never.
Anyhow, hugs!!
j-