Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Reflected, regrouped, renewed...back on track.

Hey Peace, how are you doing, my friend?

I was thinking about some stuff and I realized that I need to get into a better mindset again.

I know that my very difficult childhood help to form me.

Now, I could choose to look at the bad stuff that came out of it - like my low self-esteem and depression. Or I could look at how it affected me in a positive way. I am a much more compassionate, loyal, understanding, easy going person than I might have been if things had been different.

I am going to do the same thing with all this new stuff I have found out about my h. I could wallow in it all, or I could see that it has made me stronger and more resilient.

It is amazing what happens when you use what you've learned.
Still stings, I am not gonna lie, but, I am going to be fine. I am going to keep forging forward.

There are not many people that I have let into my life, that I trust with my feelings. But the ones I have let in are beyond what I deserve. With them, and God's help, I am becoming the person I was meant to be.

I am blessed.

Beginners,

One of the things I have learned on my journey, is that all of that stuff that we have gone through, all of the crap that affected us negatively, doesn’t have to. It is what you make it and sweetie, you sound like you are on the right track.

Take all of that stuff and use it to your advantage.

Look at the childhood. You went through stuff to give you the strength that you have inside. The strength that you are just now beginning to discover. But it was a gift. And now you are seeing it.

It gave you the strength to walk this path that you have walked with H so far. It gave you the strength to start school again. It gave you the strength to not let this new crap sink you for long.

Now your eyes have been totally opened. See the blessings that surround you. The people, your son, the future you are building. See the beautiful person that you are and that you show here every single day.

Then let her start to shine.

And Beginners, you do deserve the wonderful people you have in your life. You really do.

Cat, thank you for that beautiful post. It moved me to tears.

I have always had to dig deep to find the strength to get through what life threw at me. Sometimes, when it kept coming I would stumble a bit, but, come back stronger.

So, this time, for a little while, I had trouble getting back up. I knew I had to dig in a bit more.

But it was when I was down, that I began to see even more what I already knew - that I am loved, that I matter and that I can handle just about anything. That knowledge helped me get back up.

And you are right, Cat. All the things that have happened in my life, and there were some tough things, have prepared me for all this.

I see clearly what I have, how lucky I am, how bright my future can be.

Maybe....just maybe.

We are the ones blessed for knowing YOU....

I agree.

You guys are too kind, really.

I know that I have spoken about how much it means to me to have people like all of you believe in me, to care about me enough to tell it like it is, to take the time out of your day to check up on me.

But I want to be sure you understand how it has touched me. While I have a small circle of people around me who have my back, it is with you that I share my innermost thoughts. It makes me feel vulnerable sometimes, but, also safe.

And the fact that you hear my thoughts and respond to them means more than you could ever know.

So, thank you my friends from the bottom of my heart. You have given me more than you will ever know. You have allowed me to grow and learn and have given me a safe place to fall.

There really arent words enough.

Hey Beginners,

Doing anything fun today?

Hey Cat, not doing anything that's much fun. Work, then computer class for three hours. Although that might be fun. They don't really know what to make of this Brooklyn girl in class, so I could play a bit.

This week is kind of a busy one, so nothing really exciting going on.

I would like to get back to my party, though.

We had food, drinks, costumes and party games. I really like the party games. Anything else we need?

Beginners,

Hey girl. The class, be you. The funny, smart, playful woman you are here. The rest will take care of itself.

To the party….

I still have to find a damn costume cuz the mermaid is taken. Any ideas for a four foot ten, ninety pound woman? I’m thinking maybe to be true to my name, I should just come as a cat.

And BM, we need music!

Hey Cat, I am always me, no matter what. What you see is what you get. Only way I know how to be.

Well, at 5 feet tall, my options arent that many for costumes either. Sigh, what I wouldnt give to be 90 pounds!

A cat costume sounds perfect for you.

Oh yeah, how can I forget music. Anyone?