Thanks, LL. You're just what I needed today. I do spend way too much time focusing on him don't I. I am glad he can't "babysit" son, as H put it, on Saturday night. Don't want him in the house for that long of time, he'll be snooping through everything and then the accusations will fly. It would also be the end to a very enjoyable evening with my friends.
He does seem to be sticking to a Tues/Thurs as nights he'll come over, even though I didn't pick them.
Quote: from being chatty and hanging around the house after putting son to bed to putting his boots on as fast as he could to leave, calling to not calling being grumpy, to looking sad, to getting some greys
LOL oh can I relate to this, especially the boots.
I've been reading posts over at MLC and the different stages, etc., etc. and that some never come out of it. What if H is one of them? He doesn't see that he played a role in the demise of our M and I really don't think HE ever will! Everything revolves around him and his happiness and it always has, even now! He's controlling and can be verbally abusive, and blah, blah, I've said it all here before, too.
Maybe when I said something's shifting in him, maybe something's shifting in me. That I'm not going to wait on him and make him the whole center of my life. I made him stinken dinner last night, granted it was a salad, but I made it for him. Did he say THANK YOU to me? NO. Does he thank me for taking care of our son while he's off with OW, NO! Do either of them care what son is doing? NO! "oh, but OW thinks SHE should be able to do things with son and H, this was awhile ago that H said this, but does she really care about our Son, NO, she's cares about her stupid self! If she really cared about anything, she'd know the reason why son isn't going to ever meet her. Do I thank him for doing things with son, YES!!
I'm just pissed today and maybe my old attitude is coming back. I'm beginning to feel like H, that I want to walkaway from H. It's going to be soo much work and I don't know if it's going to be worth it. He's so buried in his MEness and being mean and ugly and hurtful to me!
He thinks he can just waltz in and out of our lives whenever he wants to, no responsibilities, he's never had any responsbilities, he couldn't handle them in the past either and he doesn't want any.
I'm not waiting forever for this idiot to wake up and smell the coffee or the diesel fuel!! It just kills me that I let him treat met the way he does, the way he just moved out and thinks it's okay. My goodness so he's having a problem with his life, than fix it and be a man!
That's just it he's such a man that he can't be anything else. Can't ask for help, doesn't let me help him, doesn't care that I loved him and that I was going through my own problems...and here I sit at work crying about the f****** idiot. I am sooo sick of this whole bunch of crap.
If I had enough money and didn't have so many responsibilites I'd be out of here in a minute with son. I mean move to another state and say the hell with you H you with OW so stay with her, she can have your sorry a**.
I agree - I also get severly depressed when I go check threads at MLC. I do believe in MLC, however, I don't think everyone who has marriage problems has a spouse in MLC....maybe I am naive, but you are so right, that place scares me. I prefer to keep my head under a rock when it comes to that. I don't think I could ever wait 5 yrs for someone to come out of the tunnel????
I'm feeling good again. I'm taking an AD and maybe I need to up my doseage. Now with fall/winter on the loom I sometimes suffer from that light thing, you know lack of sunlight....for the life me I can't think of the term.
OK - here is how I got cupcake as my handle - H made up a day for me and called it "Cupcake Day" when we first started dating - said there was too much time between xmas and Valentines day - so made up Cupcake day to get us thru!!!!! Cute, huh - and I wonder why I want to save this M!!!!!
I think you're right in sensing a shift here Cathy. I THINK perhaps your H is floundering some because YOU are changing some of the ground rules.
He may act pissy now, but how much better will YOU feel to know you stood up for yourself (and in a reasonable manner), that you are demanding to be treated with respect?
Isn't this actually essential for your M to be the kind of R you want?? Perhaps your H is having trouble dealing with the notion that HE may have to change if your M is to work.
