, and would always thrown in a "and it's very unattractive."
It's a very powerful word.
Puppy
saddly, I have had to use this. and let me tell you the look on her face is as if she had all the power she felt she had at the moment stripped away. It is very very powerful. I laugh to myself as she walks away mumbling.
the physical abuse is a serious strike against you, we all know that, but I am not going to dwell on that here.
It seems to me your wife is messing with you, in everyway she can. she is getting to you and she knows it and she is going to continue as long as you let her. time is now to stop letting her.
the staying out till 3:30 in the morning concerns me, shes either doing something or looking to. this girlfriend of her is she single or divorced or if shes married what does her husband think of these late night escapades? I have a feeling you will learn something sometime soon about this that you are not expecting; you should mentally prepare yourself in case so you can project the attitude, 'I figured so,' rather then let it destroy you in front of her. for she seems to be pushing every button she can to get you back for something. (for example the misdirected text, gucci must have been coaching her). Is she holding divorce or separation over your head to keep you in check lately?
One thing i notice, is there seems to be alot of bickering going back and forth in text messages, esp. about her going out. thats got to stop immediately. I have always taught instant messenging and text messaging was for flirting and ineuendos not for serious conversation. maybe there is something wrong with me but i am very hesitant to put anything serious down in writing or try to resolve an argument with emoticons and butchered sentences. I think you need to start ignoring them and cutting any important ones short with I will call you in a while and definitely do not initiate any or bother to use it to talk about the single life she is leading.
Also, stop talking about what she is up to all together, who cares what you do should be your attitude, just dont financially enable her play time, but dont ask dont know. she is going to do it whether you want her to or not. I would act like it is a non-issue with me what or where she is going, just to kill the power she feels when she knows I dont like it. Excitement buzz-killer.
But for now, lets hear about your hobbies, and what you like to do. your friends and coworkers, they married, single? they like to do happy hours, sports, race cars? you belong to a gym? whats up with you other than your wife? not being homo here, i think we need to change your part in this 'screenplay' so that we can turn the tables on your wifes behavior, before you will need to do so for other reasons.
One thing i notice, is there seems to be alot of bickering going back and forth in text messages, esp. about her going out. thats got to stop immediately. I have always taught instant messenging and text messaging was for flirting and ineuendos not for serious conversation. maybe there is something wrong with me but i am very hesitant to put anything serious down in writing or try to resolve an argument with emoticons and butchered sentences. I think you need to start ignoring them and cutting any important ones short with I will call you in a while and definitely do not initiate any or bother to use it to talk about the single life she is leading.
I've prepared myself for the worst when it comes to the potential of an affair. I've been doing a good job of not asking what she is up to and when she says hey I was out with friends I take it as maybe maybe not. I just don't like being told hey I'm going out with my friends these nights and so you will need to watch the kids.
One GF is married I don't know her husband and don't know what he thinks. One GF is divorced and is looking for the next $$$ man and other girlfriend is getting married. I do know that the girls get together every month or two and rent a hotel room downtown so they don't have to drive home. My wife goes out but does come home.
Wife just left house without saying two words to me this morning.
I'm working out every couple of days at the gym. Going out every couple of weeks with friends. I travel a fair bit. So it leaves little time out side of kids sporting events, scouts etc.
I should have saved the discussion till later. My fault and I should have validated more.
Should I call her and apologise for not listening and validating? JJ
Last edited by JTJ; 10/22/0901:15 PM.
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
The wife holds divorce over my head whenever I object to something she says or does. I can't express my feelings without her jumping on me about what I did when. Very similiar to the text's last night.
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
I'm feeling very anxious and sad this morning. I know I need to detach and just worry about myself. I'm just very sad. I need to get out of the house today.
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
The wife holds divorce over my head whenever I object to something she says or does.
So take her threat away. Agree with her. "You are right we need to get divorced. You are terribly unhappy and I have decided I am not going to be treated like this."
And mean it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
But, I don't want a divorce. If I say this Should I be prepared to follow through with an attorney. I'm sad, scared, and emotionally spent. I love her and don't want a divorce. But if thats what she wants maybe I should give it to her.
JJ
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
