Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Newbie here and need HELP!!!!

Hi,

Well thanks for all your advice. I need to clarify something though, he wasn't the one that said we could try it for 3 months, I asked him if we could see where our marriage was going in that time frame. He honestly doesn't talk to her on the phone but maybe a few texts during the week because she works 20 hour days, that is the truth.
He also told me that he doesn't really even know what those feelings are now, but before he was ready to end our marriage, know he doesn't know?? He also told me that for the 3 months that I accused him and her of being together and that he liked her caused him to step back and wonder if that maybe was the truth the whole time???? Please help me in what I should do!!

Hi Katie,

Well, I'm confused, because I was going by this, which was in your original post:



I took that to mean that your husband is basically saying "Well, my girlfriend's going to be unavailable to me for 3 months, so you and I might as well use the time to test our marriage and see if we're still compatible."

Confused,

Puppy

Sorry, she isn't his girlfriend. They have never been involved physically and have only been around eachother in groups, like softball, or eating out with the softball team. You see one of my good friends is on the team and I have known her for as long as I have known my husband.
He told me he thought he might have feelings for her but didn't know for sure. She is married and is gone on tour with Trans Siberian Orchestra until mid January.
Apparently her husband drinks a lot and is really arrogant, this is what my husband and my friend have observed hanging around with them.
My husband and this girl have a lot in common, they both like photography, like the same music, are interested in computers (she does web design and my husband is a Systems Engineer). They have common personalities and he has told me that she is really fun to hang out with, and that her husband treats her badly when they are around in their groups.
But my husband also if we get into a argument always makes sure I am ok and listens to me when about 3 weeks ago he couldn’t have cared less how I felt. I don’t know what to think about any of this, I am confused.

OK, substitute girlfriend with "unrequited love." It's still inappropriate, and insulting (to me, anyway), that he would suggest the occasion of her being unavailable to him for three months to take his own marriage for a test-drive.

Hopefully you are right in that they are not physical. However, remember that you can not trust anything he says, and only believe half of what you see.

Katie, I noticed in your original post that you mentioned that you had been acting like a "manic-depressive". Is this something that you noticed about yourself, or something that he complained about? Is there any truth to it? Have you thought about seeking treatment for it, or at least some counselling? Do you have a history of depression? Maybe seeking help for it could be one of your positive changes.

I am in the exact same situation and I am so confused. I am inching closer to telling him that if he can not stop talking to two other women then he must go. I cant go on enduring the pain with him around. I know that one woman he talks to and txt regularly and the other woman he just txts. I know who one is but not the other.