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Thanks very much.

Today I actually smiled for the first time since July. Felt good.
Why ?

Well when I read undrdg's post I smiled. Why? Well because I realized that I was doing all this work for myself. Not my WAS. It really made me feel happy. That I have the strength to endure this and not give up. To stand on my feet and better myself. Long journey ahead. But I am putting one foot foward each day.

What is it with WAS and little emails. Just got an email that asks how the house is coming along ( I am fixing it up to sell or keep ) and how things are in general. Then a quick question on if I am going to the local town festival on the weekend.

I believe this is 2 things.
1. Test on boundries. As I said no small talk in my Plan B letter
2. Seeking some EN's from me.

I think I should just block the emails. But I am finding it difficult to do. Guess thats the battle of being dark. Feels like such a high school game.

Heh. Woke up at 4 am again. Right on the money.
Well today I have a few small goals.
Run 10KM - completed
Do a good deed
Paint the bathroom
Clean house
snap the elastic band on the wrist everytime I think about WAS

Mid term goals.
Finish 9 week running program - One week to go
Start studing for certification - Will start in 2 weeks once I am back to work and caught up there. Got 4 months to catch up on... Really dropped the ball there. I just went through the motions. But did keep up on the work. Just did not do any extras.
Continue Plan B
Continue to get house back in tip top shape.

Long Term Goals.
Take a vacation and travel in May 2010
Run my first Half marathon in the spring.
Plan B until WAS ends affair and wants to work on our relationship. If not. Let her go and be the best person I can be for myself. Keep the promise to never hate. People make mistakes.



Other stuff.

Well I am having a sort of date tomorrow with a friend who has been a friend since we were kids. She knows what I am going through. As our parents are best friends. And we have talked about it over a meal a 3 weeks ago. So tomorrow where going to the local town festival and then back to my house for dinner.
After that I am going out to meet up with friends to watch a friends dad band play some blues music.
So should be a good full day.
Need to find a costume for a halloween party next weekend as well

Well.
I just got the first phone call from WAS in a month. I stayed upbeat and no R talk at all. I also ended the conversation.
How the conversation went was like this.
was : asked if I had received any emails this week from her. I said I had not looked.
was : asked if I knew about her sister and her health. I said yes I talked to her dad about it and her bother in law
was : asked how the house was coming along to sell. I said I was busy working away and needed to get back at it.
was : then extended the conversation by asking if some box was still in the house and that she was missing some clothes and then said no I have everything I need out of the house.
was : asked again if I was going to the weekend festival which I replied maybe
I then said I could not see anything and then ended the conversation right there with a Have a really good weekend and talk to you later. And hung up.

I could tell she was rather taken back by me being upbeat and I controlled the conversation with my short answers. Gave nothing away about myself. Just stayed positive.

Now to not think about this at all.......... wish me luck

And THAT, my dear class, is how it's done.

Puppy

applaude

Well today is reward day. I am going to enjoy the festival and a nice dinner and some good company. I have worked hard on myself the last few months. I have worked hard on the house the last month. I am taking a day off.

YEP....
THAT is how it is done......
Wouldn't surprise me in the least to see her want to reconcile in the future....

Keep on this path.. It IS the one that works.

cutterbug,
I have followed along and admire the very sensible and ballsy steps you have taken so far - even before finding this site!
I am sorry for the position you find yourself in.
I'll be cheering you on, though I may not have much advice since my DB efforts have not succeeded.

Hi all. Update on the sitch.

Good weekend of GAL.
Had a great Saturday down at the festival. And a lovely dinner. It was a great date. And it ended nice and early at 7:30 PM. During the day bumped into some common friends and it just felt weird introducing my 'date' to them. Got a few strange looks as well from the common friends.
I bought two new paintings to hang up at the house. That night I went over to a good friends house and just had a fun night of pints and conversation.
On Sunday. I uploaded a few pictures to facebook of the festival and my 'date' I did some painting and went out to dinner with two friends and ended up helping one of them out with their breakup. She was completely broken hearted so I told her about DB'ing and the principals of GAL. So I think I really helped.
All in all a great weekend.
I am back to work tomorrow. So I gotta get back into that swing.
Coming up on 2 months since D-Day. Wow I have come along way.

Got some goals this week and looking for some advice.
1. The house. Sell or keep. I am leaning towards keeping it. To do that will require me to buy her out. From our last conversation was is under the impression that I want to sell it. But I like the house and the neighbourhood. I know I can make new memories here. This will require a new mortgage for myself to take on. I have been sitting on this for a few weeks. But need to make a decision.
2. Finalize the seperation papers. Right now they are ready to sign but I would need to update them with what ever happens in point one. I have been taking my time on that as well.

Well going to continue to Plan B while this is going on. GAL will continue. Asking for advice will continue as well.