In my opinion, MC can help if the wife WANTS the M to work, but feels stuck. It will not help if the W DOESN'T WANT the M any more. She will just feel MC is an effort to keep her trapped in a situation she has decided she needs to get out of.
I'm having a really down day. I did alot of thinking at work and felt like going home and telling W - her and OM have humiliated me, made a fool and an ass of me by meeting behind my back and to leave. I could'nt do it. 2 things I asked of my wife at this time , 1. try marriage counseling 2. stop contact with OM W said she doesn't want MC and she going to be honest and won't promise no contact with OM I wish I could be strong and tell her it's over get out. instead of trying to hold on. I don't want to continue feeling like this. Its hard to work ,it's hard to try and do things I used to enjoy.
Look at that long peice on page 1 by Eskimo Nell again. That pretty much sums up what you need to do.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
W said she doesn't want MC and she going to be honest and won't promise no contact with OM
"Well Wife it's time for me to be honest as well. I have decided that I won't share you with another man. If you won't stop contact then I am going to ask you to leave. If you are not gone in X days then I will place your belongings in the garage."
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
"Well Wife it's time for me to be honest as well. I have decided that I won't share you with another man. If you won't stop contact then I am going to ask you to leave. If you are not gone in X days then I will place your belongings in the garage."
Cha-ching, man up Bobby, sure the feeling of humiliation is normal, how long do you want it to continue? The A is already there, why let it's filth back into your home? That's more humiliating to me than the concept of the A.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Seriously bro, if you want to do things that work, you're going to have to realize that most of what you have to do is counter-intuitive.
I get it, you're lovesick, broken inside, want your wife to love you again and you're torn up because she's with the OM.
She isn't attracted to you because you won't man up and it's time to reclaim those raisins you call balls and blow them up to watermelon proportions and to do this you have to start respecting yourself, she can't respect you now because you don't respect yourself - do you get this much yet? And she can't love you if she can't respect you.
I feel for you bobby, I can feel the hurt in your posts.
You need to turn this thing around, not to get your wife back but more importantly to get you back and when we get "YOU" back, the part about getting your wife will become easier & clearer.
The question is, are you ready to be really brave to face that fear and stand up for yourself for once in your life?
