Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Really wanting HELP!

Here are his exact words:

> There's nothing that can be said or done that's going to change how I
> feel or what my perspectives are.

Distracted.
If i may ask.
What exactly caused you to seek an OM?
What exactly did your hubby do?
What did he do when you walked out?

Perhaps you are doing the same things that pushed you further from him as he was pursuing you?

Perhaps think about what it would have taken for him to win you back at that time and reverse it for yourself.

I honestly don't know what happened. OM pursued me. I was really happy, had just had a baby, & life was on track. I've always had an issue with post-pardum depression so I've thought that was it....

Distracted,

My advice is the same as the advice to the LBS, no pressure. I know that if in a year my W came to me wanting to reconcile I would feel it was too late. I kind of feel that now. But deep down I still love her, no matter how hurt I am. I know I'll have that love somewhere deep down in me for the rest of my life.

Take things slow. Again, I'm only projecting myself into your H's situation, but too much too fast would bring up too many bad memories all at once.

Distracted
OM pursued you because? what?
what did your hubby do when he found out?

Many WAS say nothing will change and nothing might, but there is always hope. He is angry now. He doesn't want you back because you violated his trust. It is time to own up to your responsibility in this situation and repent like you have never repented in your life.

One letter will not do the trick. One conversation will not either.
You have to be patient. And work your way back into his life.
You have kids together? if so, you will have to prove to him that you are worth of his trust again and vice versa.

God I wish my wife was you right now. Wanting to come back to me. I would very much welcome her with open arms but even if that happens there is so much trust to be rebuilt. There is much work to be done.

You cannot give up once you attain what you want. And even if you don't attain it, you have to persevere.

Read divorce busting.
Get a coach.
Get a life

You can be a very valuable member in this forum simply because you are a WAW that came back. By helping others with walk away wives you might be able to find the answers you are looking for.

YOu can start with me...wink.

You're right. I'm sure I have probably pressured him a lot the last 2 weeks. It's not all about me now & what I want.... I would just really like to move forward... Our 5 year anniversary is Friday & I'd really like to spend it with my H!

Then ask. It doesn't have to be a date in the serious, romantic sense. It could be a day in the park with the kids. It could be as simple as a long phone conversation. Send a simple card that doesn't say anniversary (it could, but might be overwhelming). Maybe a dinner at home. I would say that any fairly neutral activity that doesn't pressure him too much is good.

He may say no, but sometimes the asking is enough to show that you are making an effort.

Welcome......I know it takes guts to come to this board as a WAW! Weren't you here once before under the name WAW1978 or something similar to that name?

I'll check back later.

I have been here before. Same user name howver & a completely different perspective.

Undrdg, I think the OM pursued me b/c his W of 18 yrs had an affair & eventually left. Maybe he needed some type of validation??

My H actually never knew & wouldn't have if I hadn't told him....but I had to. it killed me to see him killing himself & taking in all the blame for our separation which could have & should have been easily resolved.

He is also my best friend in the world.

undrdg, I'd be glad to offer any insight on our blinded perspective....