I know I use my email perhaps as jeweleryt@verizon.net if you can find my old tread would be a great help.
I just feel that I want to give up, but a part of me feels that i'm in love with my wife and wish things could changes, I just dont see her changing, this has been a twenty four yr history in the making. How do you feel that meaby all marriages are not worth saving.
1. No email. That's a precious bit of info spread only to those I vet throughly.
2. I have no clue how to locate your old thread. If you could provide your old user name, that would be helpful to anyone willing to jump in here.
3. Not all marriages may be worth saving. But that is not a decision I have to make now, it is yours. Keep posting and be transparent as possible here with others so they can really provide you with support.
Are you seeing a C or a T or have you read DR or DB? I suggest you start there. Again, what are your goals?
Just spoke with my attorney, I have an app. on tuesday, spoke with wife looks like its going to be war, I,m partners in a multy million dollar bus. and feel that the wife is looking to take me to the cleaners, she's very money motivated and I just dont feel like rolling over for her and her attorney.I have hired a very high price att. in case we go through the D i'll be able to leave with a least one shirt.I have asked her to sit and speak about what shes looking for, she replyed that meaby will do coffee, today I received a few nasty text and also informing me that shes going away on Sunday and I have my daughter. I also heard from my daughter today that mom have informed her that mom and dad are divorcing, I asked her how she felt and the response was, you guys have been fighting since I was six,I dont know how to feel, which was the last time we were seperated.
Just letting you know I have connections overseas, at times I feel like packing and just walking away from it "ALL"
I had also done over the phone DB back in 2000, 2001, meaby I can send you my info privetly so you can research it. Regarding your question I have been going to a group therapy, 3 of us plus the therapist one time per week for the past 7 yrs, I also go to therapy evry 15 days,both therapist are on camp that we need to get divorced.When I went to the individual therapy the wife went with me I knew that she wanted to work on the relationship but at the time I was not, the feelings towards my wife was very negative and I was enjoying the OW.
Wife just arrived at home, we had a great conversation regarding the kids, we embraced warmly and wispered, how did we arrive at this point, she responded I hope the mistake you made by leaving me for OW was wort it, the last words were "its too late", dont know how to read all this.
Francis, you have been nothing but vague when it comes to providing a bit of background and some history. You also don't know what you want: to try to save the M or to D.
Seeing an A is always the end of the road. For some, it's a protective thing if things are bad and they are separated. A division of who pays what/does what type of thing to make sure some basic tasks are handled during the separation to ease the stress a bit. For others, it's obtaining a consult to learn what their options are. For even others, it's an appointment to file.
That said, there's a policy of no more emails/trading personal info on the board.
Also... I realize you're probably being self-protective. But no one can really help you here unless you begin to help yourself. Provide us just a summary of what's happened and where you're headed. Give us a clue of what you might like to have happen here. If you want to save your M, the GF needs to go permanently. Being alone isn't a bad thing either. Sometimes, the silence does open you up to learning...
I apologize to all that read my post about a month or so ago, I was so desperate for answers, I wanted a quick fix, I didn t take the time to properly introduce myself and my situation.
Im 46 W 45 married 21 yrs two children 18 and 13 .
Nine yrs ago I felt that my wife was distancing herself from me and our home: I started having the feeling that something was wrong but could not put my finger on it. I knew something was wrong because there was no intimacy, and we constantly fought about everything and any thing. I started having an affair with a couple of woman to sooth the pain, I felt that since she was not there for me I would go somewhere else. We started drifting apart even more, she and I would go out more frequently with out each other, than about nine months into my affairs, I felt that I wanted to get back with her, to my surprise she was not receptive, I question this and started snooping around looking for clues, after a month or so I found out that she was having an affair all along with her boss, after denying it she came clean and said that she wanted a divorce since she was no longer in love with me, well I went on a tail spin, I started drinking,presc-meds, and trying to do anything in my power to win her back, I called the boyfriend, call anyone in her family that would listen,made her feel afraid to the point where she got a restraining order on me. I felt that this was the end of my life, then I fount Divorce busting website and all of Michelles books. For the next six months I move in with my mother and took care of all my wifes finances at home. I decided that now was the time to go to work in saving my marriage. I dedicate myself to win her back by immersing myself in therapy, anti-depressant meds and tranforming myself using the Divorce Busting methods. It took about two yrs from the time I started to the point where she started talking about canceling the divorce procedures, to make a long story short, it worked, I could not be any happier, I was able to make this work thanks to my hard work, all the great friends I made on this site from all over the US and some from as far as Australia,and to the all those telephone consults from Michelles office, I felt I had to get all the help to save my marriage and it worked.
Its seven yrs later, Im getting restless again, the W is not appealing, the sex is almost non-existence, the fighting is constant, so I decide the best remedy is look for ways to end my marriage. I meet a woman that I felt walked out of a playboy magazine into my lap, I figure this is what I was looking for, I go crazy, my W noticing this change is now chasing me, I feel its too late, I have found my dream woman and Im gone. One yr later I find that playboy bunny is not the beauty inside that I saw on the outside, the only great thing we have in common is sex nothing else, I now decided that I no longer want this woman, I want my wife back: GUESS WHAT? My wife is now twenty pounds lighter looking like a million dollars, dating, and looking like she’s having a ball , the more I see her the more I want her back. I feel like the BIGGEST LOOSER in the world, I worked so hard to get my wife back, I just turned around and gave her away, to make things worse she served me with divorce papers 3 weeks ago.
I dont know how to come back here and ask for help, I feel ashamed, and scared at the same time, I think this time I have lost her for good.
I need help, I feel very lonely and depressed when W goes out and comes home at 2 in the morning. I cant hide my anger in front of the kids, my therapist thinks I should go on meds, I very confused and have no idea what to to next.
I've been in your shoes. You really need to detach. You can't stop what she's doing. You also can't show your anger in front of your kids. They need you right now.
My W doesn't come home at all most nights anymore; I've detached to the point where I like it that way.
You might consider meds to get you through this rough spot. I know how you're feeling. But for your kids sake, you must not let the anger get to you.
Just like you, my M has been a rollercoaster of good and bad times. I'm done with that now. I've put it in her court.
You've DB'ed before; get it back out, dust it off, and get back to the happy Francis. You know how to do it. You've succeeded in the past. I've only been doing this for 2 months now.
You know you're among friends. Let's not backslide now.
