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Have you guys tried marriage counseling? I see a lot of passive-aggressive stuff going on here, with both of you.

Puppy

Puppy,

We were in MC and they split us up into IC only after a few months. I'm Still going she's not. Mine IC wants me to set a date for divorce. I keep on putting it off. my new date is january. But, I don't wan't a divorce. So I probably will keep going.

I do agree with the passive aggressive sitch. Any good books you could suggest would be helpful.

thanks

JJ

I would change C's if they are telling you to set a date for D and you don't want a D.

Just my 2 cents.

Kevin

Journaling,

Last night I come home from going to a football game with a friend. I asked W about watching her friends kids. W returned them 25 miles to friends Ex's house. Who has asked my wife out on a date. She initially denied that he did and still maintains this. I object and said I really don't like this and she proceads to tell me that nothing can happen with his wife and child there. Also I said that I didn't appreciate that she has been out till 3:30 in the morning 3 times in the last two weeks and what if one of the kids wakes up and needs her. She told me I was trying to manipulate her and if she wanted to stay out until 6 am she would.

Well the argument changes to why I won't divorce her and the only thing she wants from me ia a divorce and I won't take care of it. I tell her if she wants a divorce than go for it. She tells me how unfair it is that she has put up with so much and I won't give her what she wants. She also states that the only reason she is hear is for financial reasons. Also why havn't I painted more so we can put the house up for sale. I told her to call the realtor if thats what she wants to do.

Mind you 10 hrs before she comes into my office with just a towel wrapped around herself and thanks me for something I did.

I will def give her space today. She leaves on thursday for an out of town trip with her girlfriends. Am I setting boundries properly?

What hobbies do you have?

Steve,

I travel with work. So when I'm home I help out around the house, work out, and hang out with friends. Wife has askede to go to a couple of movies in the last couple of months and went to a profootball game at her suggestion. I'm trying to find time to join a choir not much time left. I stay very busy.

Journaling,

Kept busy most of the weekend. I'm in town this week so that is good. Thanks for writing the detachment thread coach and puppy. It has been helpful. Wife and i went to home depot on sunday for paint supplies. She suggested we put laminate down in our living room. I listened and validated. But thought why? You just told me to give you a divorce a couple of nights ago. If we had the money i would do it. But, we need a new hot water heater first. I wish I had more help with boundries and what I should set? Is she just testing me? Why not just sell the House.

JJ

So you need a hot water heater, you don't have the money, you didn't want to do it, but you did it anyway???

I'm confused Puppy. The hot water heater needs to be replaced. It works but is limping along. Please elaborate on what you are trying to tell me I'm a little slow.

JJ

I'm wondering why you're trying to placate her, if these are things that you don't think are "the Right Thing to Do." Because that rarely (if ever) works.