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Hey G-Man..

Tough ass? Moi. I honestly thought I was always sweetness and sunshine personified. I'm not kidding!

And thanks for all the work on my 'holy shitake is that really supposed to be landscaping' landscaping. You said you did something you'd never down before. Worked fast. My mom even commented at how speedy you were. How did it feel doing something different.

In the times I'm met and talked to you I've seen a difference. You are truly in your element when it comes to flora. A confidence emerges, a peace, a calm. I'd suggest that you go do your magic with plants when things get dicey. It puts you in a good place.

Now you know where the whispering came from. And it sucks big time. Being there to listen, lead by action, handing over some timely reading would be great for your son. Oh yes.. and seeing lots and lots of plays at Center Stage!

Be impeccable with your word. Do what you say you're going to do.

Set your boundaries. Have YOUR rules, not what is convenient for her.

You're a great guy. And I'm here to slap you upside the face anytime!

*hugs*

PS.. and if you're hurting that much financially, why are you turning away the potential of more clients (albeit not as wealthy)?

Hey, Sweetness & Sunshine!It's the end of the season and I won't be around next season since, as I've said, soon as the D is done, I'm pulling up stakes and moving out of the Northeast.

And, Gypsy and Gima, my son's initial action after bomb was quite admirable and bodes well. He started saying this is a wake up call, I'm gonna stay positive and focused and become a better me, etc. No pleading, begging, etc. So far I just listen (and admire his initial response) and give him nuggets I got here like, "if it's a good idea now, it'll still be a good idea in 48 hrs, etc., etc."

Oh, and Gypsy, he's playing the lead in City of Angels early next month at WestConn. Says he might drop out since it's about a writer whose wife walks out and he no longer knows if he can sing some of the songs, say some of the lines. I told him continue rehearsal for a while and see. Might be good to have his wife out there one night listening to "his character"pining and singing his pain about a WAW.

I'll let you know if he stays or drops out. I think he'll stay.

And finally, I've never done it before because gardening (even professionally) and fast are an oxymoron.

Journaling.

Been busy last coupla weeks sprucing up house for sale. Every spare minute. Mostly outside at night while the temps are still good. last night and tonight (and tomorrow, I guess: it's gonna rain) I've been inside, painting. The to-do list is still long and large, though.

Tonight I pondered contacting my wife and asking if she'd help. Thought about it a while. Don't want to be taken advantage of/do all the work and yet, I don't like being in her presence anymore.

At last mediator session (9/9) I asked her to consider talking a bit, again (we've both gone dark) and let me know. That was 23 days ago and I haven't heard from her except when she came over this week for something she needed. So, I have my answer.

S went off to his mother's house (1st W) for a few days the same day DIL walked out. So, this house of S, DIL, GS, 3 cats, 1 great dog and me emptied out in one day to just me. Weird kind of feeling. They were going to move into their own place in a couple of weeks (S is still going to) so it was gonna happen anyway. But with the bomb, the sudden emptiness here is palpable.

End journaling.

P.S. Quit smoking yesterday. 36 hrs and it's been surprisingly quite easy so far this time. And this time no patch or aids, just cold turkey. I'll keep you posted (and bored) on this.

I'm sure the empty house is a bit strange. Put some music on.

GREAT you stopped smoking. Nothing but upside there.

GimaI have (and this morning I'm really cranking it while I paint ).
Quit update: Still no problem (is this weird so far or what?).

Hey G-Man..

Well oxymoron's exist because of a nugget of truth within.. or so my twisted mind likes to think.

I'd love to see the show. When I took my singing lessons from the top rated guy, he had me singing all these songs that were about a man leaving a woman, betrayal, loss. I was like.. Hellooo.. I'm living this and I have to SING about it, too? I learned what an incredible release it was to vent the emotions through song. It takes you to a higher level. Although it may be painful, in the end that show may be the best tonic for your son. By the way, if your wife still moving into the cottage near him? Could be bad form.

About the hard ass advice. I'm giving what I found so helpful to receive during my painful time. And as I share it, I understand it so much better.

Preparing the house for market is a pain in the patookie.. but what a great feeling it is to toss crap out, especially once the ball gets moving. If it feels wrong to ask her to help, don't. Ask your kids, friends to lend a hand now and then. Heck, I'd even volunteer. It is sooo much easier to toss other peoples crap then my own!


You're a great guy.. keep those great strides going!

*hugs*

Gardener,

It DOES feel daunting to face home prep by yourself. Do you have a deadline for this? Or can you take it in baby steps???????

If you're outside working today I hope the sun is shining and you can smell the autumn leaves and enjoy some fall color. I've never been to Connecticut but I imagine the autumns to be beautiful in the northeast. They are here in the midwest......Embrace the beauty all around you---the scents, the colors, the crisp autumn air. Nature is a balm.

GAG

Few days off.

Quit Update: 7 days without smoking and it remains surprisingly easy. Mucho energy, increased appetite, better sleep. Talk about a 180!! Go, me!!

Wife and stepson over to get some of wife's boxes last night. It seems (assuming, here) that since I'm now here alone, she doesn't come over alone any more. I wonder 'supwitdat?

I cooked dinner for all and we had a fairly good time. Wife talked to stepson mostly. Didn't even really look at me. I talked to both and tried to maintain normal, engaged eye-contact with both.

I pointed out to wife some of the many house prep accomplishments (And, Goodattitudegirl, I am baby-stepping the house stuff, as you suggest) and Wife said she hadn't noticed. Right.

Thanked me for dinner. No sooner had she left to drive home, she called me to ask me if I wanted BestCatInTheWorld back(?). Seems that Wife's new, ever-present lapdog is exhausting BestCat. Told her I'd consider it.

Then my wife called back (I didn't answer) when she got home and LM re some house stuff we discussed briefly at dinner.

Then, she e-mails me this morning re: same. Now she believes "BestCat would be happy back at home in big house and yard," and "Bestcat isn't happy here alone in basement apartment with just two windows."
Hmmm: BestCat or Wife?

Anyway, I'm not going to do it. Love the cat but that's home for him, now. I haven't seen him in months and even then he was kinda distant/forgetful.

Besides, I think Wife finds now finds BestCat inconvenient for one reason or another and is couching it all in "Poor BestCat" terms Knowing that the old (Mr. Nice Guy) me would immediately acquiesce and say. "Sure!!"

No More Mr. Nice Guy. Good book (and good Alice Cooper song as I recall).

Bravo, Bravo on all accounts!

Alice Cooper indeed.

I can't understand why your W comes over for dinner if she is so pi$$ed off at you. As my kids say whatthe.

One more thing. Alice Cooper - were not worthy, were not worthy. I can never see the name and not think those infamous words spoken by the great Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar.