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[[[[[Peace]]]]]



WooHoo!! You are sounding so strong and confident!! I know it still hurts to see someone you love making bad decisions and hurting themselves, but you have done the work for you and seem to be growing more all the time. You should be so proud of yourself!!




This is a wonderful thing too! I still maintain a good relationship with my in-laws, although I have often wished that they would be more up-front with STBXH about their concerns and opinions on his behavior (that they have shared with me)...... they pretty much just step back and don't say a word (which is the way his family is......they will argue with God over little stuff but NEVER talk about the real messy stuff like feelings and relationships and such) But, then the truth is that STBXH probably wouldn't have listened anyway.....

Keep on dancin' to your own tune, sweetie!!!

Hi friends
XH is coming to wok sober since our run in last week
I think he knew I was seriuos and I did seek legal help which is in order momentarily egarding the business
so for now xh is normal
working hard
visiting kids somewhat more consistantly
not talking to me..but that is ok
I guess im the mean mommy who told him he will lose his job if he comes in high

So seeing him normal seems weird and evokes this strange feelings in me again
like what happened to him
How could he just leave without trying
he gave up everything and seems ok with it
I wonder if his NOT talking to me ties in with his guilt
Does he realize yet all the pain he has caused
or is this normal looking xh just peeking out again of the fog???
and for his new wife??
I am in a new R too
I like this man --I felt all the same strong attraction and intoxxxxication all these was feel
BUT
I would not leave my family for this man
so I dont really get it
Is it b/c im rational not in crises
I still feel the anger toward xh for all the pain he has caused me and kids
especially by M his OW
how low to M a person who cheated with you on your family
a person his mother and her family said seems weird
YET
xh seems to keep moving along appearing normal
avoiding debt issues
and newly M
without a second thought
I guess Im still baffled
peace

Hi Peace, I don't often post now, but read your post and just wanted to say that I have felt very much like you do. Years down the line I think in a strange way I am glad that my H married the OW, because otherwise what was the point of so much heartache for me and my children.
At least I can (in my head-never my heart) reason that he did all those things and abandoned his kids because for him it was the only way as he was "in love"
It is the only way for me to come to terms with his m! probably won't help you much but just to let you know that for me,it helped to take that POV.
I wish you well in your new R.hopfully we have learnt and grown stronger through all of this madness.

maybe he's not talking because he's embarrassed he got spanked.

Good for you for laying down the law.

Hey, [[[[peace]]]].

I could have written your words myself!! I too have been really struggling this week with letting go. By that, I don't mean I'm wanting a reconciliation so much, as getting past the pain of loss and betrayal. It's just so not fair!! It makes no sense! How can a man I knew and trusted so completely have changed so much (and I knew my H's family since I was about 10 years old!). It totally baffles me too!

I still find it easy to imagine STBXH regretting his behavior one day, but it will be too late by then I think (if I have moved on and found another love, I will not look back) ...... which breaks my heart!! It just seems so pointless!

Hey, peace, are you on the alt?

well XH remains sober
he seems to be more available for kids than Ive seen in a long time

He is answering phone and calling back promply
yestaerday, he spent day with D 14.. picked her up from beach event
then came to get s8 to spend more time
XH told D14 that he had a GF and gave name of OWwife
he said nothing about his new M
he showed D14 where he lived as they were walkinhg on the beach to get his car
He ofcourse was NOT totally honest with D14 but less secretive than in th past
d14 told Dad Mom was dating too
XH said IM happy for her

so I felt angry when D14 told me all this
First of all, XH makes his new wife sound so innocent
like they just met and what a great person she is
she is 28, a homewrecker,smoker, drinker and a child abandomer
we dont smoke
so I have mixed feelings here
How can I let my sweet 14 D meet this b*tch..not knowing the truth
How can I let go of all this so I can really move on
its obvious xh made his choice
and still he appears that it was the right one
I may be baffled for the rest of my life

But
If xh stays sober, tht will help so I dont want to create any extra tension right now
I will talk to my mentors and let go
peace
I could never go back anyway

Your child will eventually see her for the b---h she really is. It just takes some time. You can't prevent them from spending time together. It does hurt and is quite painful, but what is new right? We get use to all of the pain. Sad isn't it? I am glad your ex seems to be coping better.

Hey, ((((peace)))).

I am in much the same place you are. Don't want that f'd up man, but it still hurts so much! I envy you your BF though!

And I hate that old friends of ours (and STBXH's family) seems to have embraced OW. That part of it is very hard to swallow.

Trusting is right, I think. Your kids will figure it all out. But, I know it's very hard to accept that.

Hang in there...... and keep dancin'!!!

And if you are on the alt, look me up under "SChrldr"!

(((((hugs)))))

Silent
What is the alt?

well did I speak too soon
XH started up again yesterday
Im so tired of him trying to Scam our business for money
when he had full control of it he spent everything ,ran it practically bankrupt
since Ive taken over , he is on salary thats it
all was ok until he strted agin with wanting extra It was little and escalated into a fight with us
I need to keep my boundreis firm with him as he tries to Bully me
so im not looking forward to today
I never know which way the wind will blow in his MLC mind
peace