Sounds great Puppy. You two seem to have found a path forward that's really working. I think if my W and I can navigate through the waters we're in right now, what you're doing would be a good template for us to move forward with. I have no great wish for my W to move back into the house right away. We even discussed that if we did reconcile, we'd get a new house to make a new start. Given our financial situation, that ain't gonna happen any time soon.
Can I ask you what your kids think of all this? I know one big worry my W and I have as we discuss possibly saving our M is how to protect our kids. My W has been acting so friendly and forward to me when we're alone and so standoffish when we're with the kids, I finally asked her "Are you acting like this so the kids don't get their hopes up?" She said yes, and I had a lightbulb moment.
How can we tentatively move forward together while still protecting our kids? They are much younger than yours, 8 years old and under, so it's not like they can have it explained to them in any real way. We worry about them even seeing us hug. They want us back together SO BAD.
We can obviously date in secret somewhat, but if we want to spend more time together, and if we want to spend quality family time together, we're going to have to let the kids in on it at some point. I can't allow them to have their hearts broken again if we can't make it work though. I'd rather just end this now. Seems like such an impossible situation!
My kids REALLY don't like it when I go back to our old house, and stay by myself. Even when I go there sometimes in the evening, maybe for a couple of hours to smoke a cigar out on my pool deck, they don't like it. We haven't tried to tone down any PDAs or wearing our wedding rings or anything, tho. We've pretty much burned our boats behind us, and are committed to making this damned thing work!
Something I sent to my wife, one of our first nights separated, in an e-mail, along with a YouTube link to the music:
When youre weary, feeling small, When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all; Im on your side. when times get rough And friends just cant be found, Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down. Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down.
When youre down and out, When youre on the street, When evening falls so hard I will comfort you. Ill take your part. When darkness comes And pains is all around, Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down. Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down.
Sail on silvergirl, Sail on by. Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way. See how they shine.
If you need a friend Im sailing right behind. Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind. Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind.
Yeah, it's "pursuing." But I wanted to let her know that even if we didn't work out ROMANTICALLY, that I would always be there for her.
I LOVE that song Pup. When I was young I used to listen to that album (for all you young people out there, that's what we used to listen to before 8 tracks, cassettes and CD's) ALL the time. Of course, now I really hate that Cecelia song although it still is a pretty catchy tune.
Gave me a chill.
And your boys got darn lucky last week that the Ref's decided they didn't want Arkansas to win......
Last edited by Hope4us; 10/24/0902:17 PM.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
