I am not ready for a EA never mind a PA. I am lying to myself. Perhaps I just wanted confirmation that I am alive and can feel something other than pain and fear. Perhaps it was to poke a stick in the eye of my WAW, perhaps it was spite, perhaps it was a way of getting past my anger as my WAW is with an EA - and I am with nothing...
One thing I do know, I will not take it further with my friend.
BUT - perhaps there was a part of me that did it as a 180. Nothing else had shown any results from my WAW. But I do feel that something has shifted in our R and I have had more reaction from my WAW -more tears and more R talks.
No. I will keep my friend at an arms length.
Thank you all for your thoughts and insights. Your time is precious and you spent some of it on me, I finally have clarity of thought.
Regards, Gyn.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
