There is the realization, too, that while MLCers are so similar with the same script, they are all different and everyone's situation is different. So my insight may match up better to some situations than others since my experience is "closer" if that makes any sense. (I.e. H still living at home, etc.)
Sometimes the best advice is being quiet and just listening. Many people don't really want or need the advice, they just want to know that some one is hearing them.
On the pain subject..yes the MLC'ers feel pain. Maybe even more so than the WAS's. Example-My wife is very emotional and during a conversation a month or so ago discussing her moving out she broke down in tears and said "This hurt so bad! I don't want to hurt you or the kids, but I hate being here so much...I am so confused".....so yes they do feel pain. Maybe not as visible as my wife, but they do.
I love what Mach said above...it is right on for the stage you are at. There are a lot of ways to handle it...the choices are yours to make and live with.
LFW, Thanks for your reply. You're right - support can be just that - support - not even advice.
Thanks to all. I have been feeling so much better the last couple of days and am working through things. Nothing is a quick fix and obviously with MLC it could take a loooooong time but at least I have a better idea of where I am going and what my goals are. Until the next time I need to reevaluate.
You seem to have a lot of support over here. I'm thinking maybe I will switch over to the MLC forum. The only thing that's holding me back, is having to rewrite my story over here.
If your H hasn't asked for a D, then the ground you are standing on is still pretty solid. You have plenty of sand left in your hour glass timer. I on the other hand feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ. There is much more sand on the bottom of the timer for me.