Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers How did I get here?

Got home...she is already getting some stuff moved out. This is surreal.

Dude. So sorry.

Surreal is the only word that I would use here too.

The whole thing is surreal.

That sucks.

How is she acting to you?

Well she didn't get home until 10 or so. Then she was mad at me because I moved my stuff out of dresser she was taking into a dresser that I was keeping. I took her stuff out of that dresser and put it into piles just like it came out of the drawers. This made sense to me but she was not happy about it.

This morning, as she was getting ready, she was putting stuff into duffel bags. This morning was it. When I left I told her I loved her and hated her. And I meant it. All she could say was that everything would be fine. No emotion....

This is a sad day for me and my family.

She's still running off of anger. Her emotions are probably like a scrambled egg.

My W has been the same way (w/o) emotion so many times. Last night, she was emotional again. They can't fight it forever.

Just like in Tristan's thread. Your W is the one in crisis mode in this case though. And just like us...eventually crisis mode will cease and she will have to deal with everything that she is pushing out right now.

How are you holding up? Are you at work today?

I am at work. It is good and bad. I'm preparing for a trial that starts Nov 2nd (I'm in LE, not an attorney!) and it is huge...over 83K pages of evidence. It is a mind numbing task in itself...let alone with everything else going on. My promise to myself was that if I can make it through everything I am dealing with right now I can do anything. I will make it.

I'm holding up as well as to be expected. I am sad but at least I know that is happening instead of when is it going to happen...if that makes any sense.

I hope she has a revelation one day. Either way, I am making myself a better person and moving on. Today is the first day or real detachment so help me stay on track with that. Thanks EB.

Yep, I remember when my XW came home from a month long business trip, packed up and moved into her own apartment. She had her own idea of what it would be like. It's funny how they plan for months but then things don't exactly work out they way they want. For me, every time my XW made a step in a direction, I either made the decision to not react at all or react. A reaction for me would be more detachment, more GAL's and 180's.

Then she would rationalize..."see we're at our best when we're apart." This was total crap. BUt at least she's learning that there are effects for her decisions and I'm no longer there to pick up the pieces and help her through. Just wait....the holidays are coming and that will be the true test for her.

I know. I remember when we were first dating the holidays were horrible for her. That was the first Xmas she was divorced. I can only imagine what this one will be for her as she now has 3 kids with two different fathers. Halloween is coming up...I have the kids costumes already and that is my weekend. I know she will want to come to our neighborhood and be with them.

I have to decide how I want to handle that. I want her to be able to enjoy that time with them but this was her decision dammit! There has to be some consequences. The kids will have fun regardless...our neighborhood is great. Probably not so great over at her apt complex

I know. I remember when we were first dating the holidays were horrible for her. That was the first Xmas she was divorced. I can only imagine what this one will be for her as she now has 3 kids with two different fathers. Halloween is coming up...I have the kids costumes already and that is my weekend. I know she will want to come to our neighborhood and be with them.

I have to decide how I want to handle that. I want her to be able to enjoy that time with them but this was her decision dammit! There has to be some consequences. The kids will have fun regardless...our neighborhood is great. Probably not so great over at her apt complex

I am sorry WTTB. Fortunately, I was not around when my W moved out and she really didn't take much anyway. It was still a hit to see things changed when I got back. Focus on the kids and find friends to be with. It was hard for me to go to many of my old friends (as many of them still do not know that W and I are seperated). But it is important that you do not isolate here.

Hang in there and GAL.

I'm getting it. I am getting ready to go home now. There will be some shock but over the next couple of days and this weekend I am going to totally re arrange everything, clean and make it feel like "my home" instead of "our home".