My H is still in the house so we haven't told anything to the kids yet (his choice because he hasn't decided yet what his "plan" is in all this.) I do dread this. I was a child of divorce while my H's parents are still together. I also had my life split into pre-divorce and post-divorce...and from a kid's point of view there was not one good thing about the post-divorce time period that justified it to me. My dad took about 4 - 6 years to get serious about another woman and remarry...and when he did he married someone who in my opinion had just as many issues/negative points as my own mother did.
But while I know H won't stay married just for the benefit of the kids...and not sure I would or could truly put up with a loveless marriage...this is why I decided that first day after the bomb to treat H with respect and not rage or make him feel guilty. I wanted to have a positive relationship with him about the kids if we divorce because it would be best for the kids...and turns out I found later that this attitude is also the best one to have if you want a chance in general to save the marriage. I thank God that he helped guide me in this direction on day one...no matter how this ends up!
