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Hey Bill - had to find your new thread and catch up on your sitch because I am trying to join Piecing too! Catch up on my sitch and you'll see how much help you have been to me ( H Unhappy and Left

I am so excited for you and your W. I am sure that she will enjoy here weekend. Besides if she is scrapbooking, it only makes you feel better since you relive the fond memories while creating your pages. Enjoy your boys - having all of you greet her at the door with hugs and smiles will cap her weekend off well! I too bet that she will show you some appreciation.

In my thread you will see that I too am incorporating the Five LL book along with the DBing with some success so far. I think that if you make the time to read it it will pay off in dividends. I had my H read a passage from it the other night - starting on page 46 with Love doesn't keep score of wrongs through the bottom of page 47. That section just struck me and even though he read it while we were at McDonalds Playland with the kids, I think it made him think too.

Thanks for sharing - it's inspirational and keeps my PMA tank full!

Hey y'all -

You know, this is the third weekend away she's had since the bomb - went to a wedding right after, when to see her dad in August. It always makes a big impact when I help make it easy for her to get away - from her old feelings of being trapped, and the fear that she carries that anything she does for herself will cause an imposition on someone - she has the potential for a lot of guilt with these kind of things. It makes such a big impact when she comes back and I say "I HAD FUN WITH JUST ME AND THE BOYS." And we went to the zoo, we did this, we did that - makes her feel like it's all OKAY. And again, this isn't much different than before, it just communication and attitude.

Yeah Colleen, I was bummed about the hat - both because my W had given it to me and because I hadn't actually combed my hair before I put it on... Yeah, you've got to be careful about climbing over the fences at the zoo, never know what you're going to encounter...

Optimist, I checked out ODGA - I agree he's making progress! I'm flattered that you'd seek my opinion!

Totite - good to see you're back! Sounds like you had a fun week! I'm excited about the future too and I'm happy W is getting away. Funny, I've been saying, yeah, I'm going to get to 5LL and it keeps coming up - I got a box from Amazon today - my sister ordered me a copy. Now I have two... I think maybe God is telling me somthing...

Guess I should go get reading now while I have some time - my C won't mind me putting off her assignment for another week

Later y'all and God bless!

- Bill

Thanks, Bill. I think it will help ogda to have your opinion. You know men and women can speak different languages sometimes And you do know I value your opinion

Sorry about the hat, but if you promptly tell on the culprit your wife will forgive the loss and get you a new one. There is nothing we will not forvige to our not-quite-yet-three-year-old children

I am glad you continue to make progress. Enjoy your weekend with the kids and do not bring a live elefant home just because 'it followed us.' Your W might have a change of heart about separate houses if she has to feed and clean a pachyderm into the bargain. Yes, I know, I know: the kids promised they would do it themselves... and you believed them

He he - well Optimist, I find I become a wiser parent every day.

For example, this is what I learned today: Never try to paint anything with two-year-olds around.

Furthermore, if you do, be sure you've thought about what they're wearing. (We'll see what W thinks about it...)

Oh, and finally, if you do, be sure to lock all the doors to the house so they can't suddenly pop inside without your knowledge with wet paint all over them...

Yeah. Doing laundry now, now that the baths are over. Boys down for nap, off to take a shower.

- Bill

You are brave to paint with kids of any age around. That is the one upside of my H having the kids every other weekend (for now)...I am getting some huge projects done. Today I am demolishing the wall between the dining and living room - half way there and needed a break to visit you folks. If I am really energetic I plan to paint a hallway too.

Just a thought - since your wife is so in to scrapbooking, keep a camera handy when she isn't around and snap a few of the boys getting into trouble - like with the paint. Any ruined clothing will be forgiven when a cute photo opp isn't missed! What a great page that would be for her to do! The boys being daddy's little "helpers".

Continue your fun! Back to my soon-to-be-gone wall!

Demolishing a wall?

Oh my Goodness and my H thought I changed the house a lot!!

It must be a great way to defuse anger. I wish I could (our house is newly built, all the redecorating I can do is the buying furniture kind).

Just got my second mistery call of the day... I always grab the phone first because I do not want my mother to find out my H is back. Pam, you were so right about tangled webs...

Geez Bill,

You have such a fan club! This is awesome for you & w. So glad to see all the support you have. Are you feeling the love?

Sounds like you've had a great weekend. Can't wait to hear about the reunion w/ your W.

Take care,

Hi Bill- what can I say that hasn't already be mentioned by all of your supporters here. I guess you're kind of a star now, huh?? Word surely has gotten out about your success story and soon Michele will be calling you like we talked about in one of your earlier threads. (ha ha)

Well, just wanted to let you know I'm still thinking of you and W and keeping my fingers crossed for the next phase of DBing for you. Get ready for that massage, after all, gluing and cutting can really put a kink in your neck and back (ha ha)

You're super great!! Tootles..............

Hey y'all!

Thanks for all the posts and support! Wow, it's flattering to get attention - I really appreciate it! I feel very fortunate to call y'all my friends.

So, I'm trying to figure out things, how to go forward now. I did a LOT of things over the weekend - stuff in the yard, stuff in the house, had a biiiig list of things and got a lot of them done. Planned a trip for us in a couple of weeks to - our original plan to go to Seattle was a bit expensive, so we're going to take a driving trip to an area with a big railroad park, with train rides and all. Close to Yosemite. The boys LOVE trains right now.

So, W got home a little early - missed us (and me!) and was really happy to get home. Had a great time but was sore and tired from the sleeping accomodations, crashed on the couch and watched football (she's the sports fan between us). I gave her a massage too.

W goes back and forth between feeling really happy and really anxious. Plus, she said that the weekend gave her "stimulus overload" - we're both like that, too much stuff going on really make us frazzled.

I got babysitters for the evening. Here's how it went:

1) Got in the car, she was feeling really anxious, so I gave her a hug. I think just getting ready, feeding the boys, spilled milk, and my "take care of things" approach made her a little jumpy.
2) Had a great dinner
3) Went to a movie - she was feeling anxious again, and suddenly said "let's go do something else" - wanted to interact instead of watch the movie, plus was so keyed up that she didn't want to sit. We got our money back (movie hadn't started yet) and I assured her that I was okay with it (I used to be kind of inflexible and irritable with situations like that).
4) Went to Borders (see Carolyn? One of my favorite places!!) We bought decorating magazines and a book, got a couple of mocha freezes, went through the magazines ripping out things that we liked to decorate the house. Spent a lot of time just talking and doing this
5) Went to the grocery store to buy her some nail polish (yes, I'm still painting her toenails, and her fingers too - occurs to me that this is really odd, but it's something we've started to do that we both like)
6) Went home. Talked a lot about the yard and landscaping.
7) Sat in her room and she showed me her scrapbook pages, and all the boarders that she got (they had a boarder exchange, everyone made some and swapped). I oooed and aaawed over everything, which made her really happy.
8) I massaged her feet.

She said that she had a really great night, and I could see she meant it, even though she's struggling with her anxiety. We kissed goodnight passionately, and then she gave me the "that's enough" nudge.

She's still working on her boundaries, so we're not going too far with that stuff. Overall it was a great evening, but we're having to work on it to find that space. When she first arrived, I felt a little like my walls were up and I wanted to withdraw - I don't know why that is - but that's the reason I wanted to massage her, because that helps ME feel like I'm easing into a more intimate mood. I've still got this tendancy for aloofness that got me into trouble - and it's not habits, it's emotional reaction. Maybe the way I'm made, maybe not, but I'm seeking to work on it and find ways around it.

Well, I'm missing a meeting now actually, uh oh. Gotta go, type at you later!

- Bill